In this memoir, I have written about being born disabled; my resulting childhood of surgery, medical intervention, otherness, and pain; my complicated relationship with my parents and my own reluctance to have children and thereby pass on this unfortunate genetic malady; as well as my development as an artist, my interest in flight, and my work in the aerospace industry, which was dramatically impacted by the events of 9/11/01. Subsequent to that terrible day, I returned to graduate school here at Ball State to pursue graduate work in fine art, new media, and creative writing. I like many others lost virtually everything in the world economic collapse of 2008 and this project revolves around the first ten years of this century, these diverse experiences, reaches back in time for connections and insights, and includes themes of truth, God and the big questions, life and death, the universe and our place in it, the Tarot, and the occult, fame, childhood, brotherhood, love, art, education, astral projection, 2012, black holes, writing, Kurt Vonnegut, a sense of humor, and those things to avoid in order to maintain one, but the writing process itself, as I am still learning, is an invaluable tool with which to keep track of both my reach and my grasp. Adversity and suffering are a part of every life, both personally and at large, but our trajectory depends entirely upon how we respond. / Trajectory -- Progression -- Faces in the trees -- Foundations -- The treatment -- Celebrity -- The sunshine box -- Malefica -- In the dream -- Castaways -- The artist as shaman -- Beyond light speed -- The black hole -- The super unknown -- The war on douchebaggery. / Access to thesis permanently restricted to Ball State community only. / Department of English