As a spiritual director and Christian, I desire to accompany women on their journey to a deeper personal relationship with God holding in tension the suffering Servant on the cross and the hope in the resurrected Christ. I long to illuminate their understanding of self-sacrifice and denial. Participating in Jesus’ suffering on the cross must not lead to neglect of oneself, denial of one’s human dignity, or the tolerance of any form of abuse – physical, emotional or mental. I comprehend the redemptive power in suffering for the love of God, but I also know Christ invites us to rejoice in God’s love too. There is value in suffering and there is a treasure in joy. We must never forget the hope in the resurrected Christ here and now, not upon our death. It is critical to understand the reason why the women I accompany, and others, have a belief system so ingrained in suffering and subserviency. First, I will identify the root causes that result in the loss of a sense of self in women. Then, I will examine our Catholic teachings and doctrines on the Paschal Mystery, specifically, on how Jesus on the Cross could explain why this faith foundation in women leads to sacrificing oneself and women willingly accepting the diminishment of one’s life. It is essential to understand how the historical interpretation of these theologies have contributed to the current pastoral problem. Finally, I recommend a different hermeneutic of the suffering Jesus on the Cross and redemptive suffering that could deliver us, women, from our stance of passivity and feelings of defenselessness and even hopelessness.