abstract: “by my death...” is a composition in three movements for chamber ensemble and laptop ensemble, with the instrumentation of clarinet in Bb, French horn in F, percussion, violin, double bass, and at least three laptops. The total duration of the piece is approximately twenty minutes. However, since the timing of the first and third movement is flexible, the total duration may vary. “by my death...” is the creative culmination of my research into representations of the Holocaust in music. More specifically, it corresponds to my analysis of three Holocaust-based works by the Israeli composer Arie Shapira (1943-2015): Gideon Kleins Marterstrasse (1977), Gustl in Theresienstadt (1998-9), and Achtung Rapunzel (2007). I applied findings from the analysis in my own music, resonating Shapira's style, techniques, and expressive means. In a sense, “by my death...” is a homage to this composer, who had a strong influence on my path to dealing with the Holocaust in music. My composition, however, is not necessarily about the Holocaust alone. It concerns the larger Jewish historical narrative that is characterized by destruction and construction, with the Holocaust as a central, pivotal event. It reflect about the Holocaust within links between tradition and innovation, past and future, death and life, that are inherent to any aspect of Israeli culture, and that are intertwined within the Jewish narrative of extermination and resurrection. / Dissertation/Thesis / MAX/MSP Patches / Doctoral Dissertation Music 2016