What ways of being and knowing constitute the experience of healthy relational life? Ontologically, what takes place in the experience of meeting a loved one, face to face? What is ???good communication??? in an intimate relationship? What does commitment enable in relational life, and what constitutes healthy dedication in marriages? This thesis addresses the above questions through a conceptual analysis of the dual nature of social life: identity-based, self-reifying, object-focused, atomised and oppositional, and dialogical, relational and present. It does so with the help of qualitatively analysed interviews of respondents talking about their experiences of committed intimate relationships. The first part of this thesis discovers that current social theory links the increased fragility of intimate relationships to the individualisation of social experience, and the rise of discourses that encourage reflexivity and personal responsibility. I discuss specific funding strategies the Australian Federal Government employs in seeking to manage the risk of marriage breakdown in the community. I argue that while a complex mix of rational-instrumental reasoning, the neo-liberal ethos of self-enterprise and some Christian norms of family life underlie much policy, the actual practice of marriage education in Australia has a community basis, and has much potential for real relationships. I offer a critique of risk-preventative discourses in marriage pedagogy, and show that the key terms used by clinical researchers draw on the same methodological individualism as the economic model of relational life. I argue that often, social theorists also reduce relationships to dyads of competing individuals exchanging themselves as goods, or bargaining for the best deal while using their investments as threat points. I suggest that the identity struggles that ensue from such alienated relations in intimate lives can be understood through the Hegelian binary oppositional model, and also, through some psychoanalytical theory on differentiation. This thesis suggests that on examination of couples??? relationships, we find a different ontological structure in relationality. Relationships have the potential to transcend their total, additive, atomised form and be experienced as wholes. Couples teach us that love is not just self-directed action; that choice can burden, but responsibility to what is present can be freeing; and that relational ???success??? is more complex than simply staying together for life.
| Identifer | oai:union.ndltd.org:ADTP/242582 |
| Date | January 2007 |
| Creators | Borinski, Diana , Social Sciences & International Studies, Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences, UNSW |
| Publisher | Awarded by:University of New South Wales. |
| Source Sets | Australiasian Digital Theses Program |
| Language | English |
| Detected Language | English |
| Rights | Copyright Diana Borinski, http://unsworks.unsw.edu.au/copyright |
Page generated in 0.0012 seconds