本研究旨在探索青春期好友關係中「不理」的互動事件。過去研究將「不理」視為關係攻擊，然而，不理或斷絕關係會發生在好友關係上，且行為者自身對此亦有相當的痛苦感，關係攻擊未能解釋如此弔詭現象。事實上，為了維繫關係的和諧，雙方關係良好者 通常不易以抗爭因應，衝突成為內隱性，不直接撕破臉而以「不理」為傳達不滿的方式。因此，本研究將以黃囇莉（2006）「人際和諧與衝突動態模式」為研究架構，於關係脈絡下重新理解「不理」。並以半結構式的訪談大綱，針對十三名參與者進行深度訪談，蒐集參與者述說其「不理」的經驗歷程的質性資料。
研究結果指出，「不理」的互動歷程展現出青春期友誼拿捏人我距離的練習，並對於後續親密關係的人際互動有所影響。青春期的好友關係為非穩定的自發性情感支持關係，卻由於好友的角色義務不明確，反而令「關係」的親近拿捏成為引發衝突的原因，從親與近的互動浮現關係裡的失合與失調，包括「無心傷害」、「情感性地付出與回報不對等」、「挫敗遷怒」及「拉開距離」，成為主動方心底的內隱衝突。這些主動方主觀知覺的內隱衝突較為隱晦，無正當性據理力爭，加上社會文化對於關係和諧的要求，令主動方身處於「直接吵是傷人，放低姿態溝通卻有損自我」的兩難情境。在顧全大局之下，主動方運用「不理」讓被動方能意識到他的不滿，而使得主動方的內隱衝突有機會浮上雙方互動的檯面，因此看似無互動的不理，實則為主動方促始關係改變的方式。
在「不理」的停滯期間，若持續沒有明確的焦點，冷靜之後，衝突淡化而進入虛性和諧。若衝突激化，則會造成關係的斷裂。特別的是，「不理」同時提供將虛性和轉化成實性和諧的機會。讓內隱衝突浮現檯面，若能予以冷靜化，雙方相互溝通，使之成為實性衝突，而能有所聚焦。且在此過程中雙方能表達對關係的重視，反而能讓雙方的關係轉化成更穩定的實性和諧。此外，由於青春期友誼有相當高的情感依附性，即使實際互動早已形同陌路，心裡卻不會輕易認定關係結止，既然關係未完成，就有復合的一日。由此可知，「不理」其後的結果不一定全是負面，這是以關係攻擊觀點無法看見之處。
本研究將焦點置於關係之中，探索青春期友誼關係中「不理」的因素，提供更細密地資料以理解當事人的難處與心理歷程，並凸顯出友誼關係離合的轉折，讓關係的鬆動與改變有計可施。因而可作為青少年友誼人際衝突化解與結束之預防教育與輔導的參考。 / Previous studies treat ignoring like one type of relationship aggression. However ignoring and ending the relationship happen in close friendships. From the relationship aggression point of view , there is no explanation why the actor feels pain and guilt in this situation.
In interpersonal conflict the people who place importance on the relationship can not easily confront it but rather let the conflict become implicit. Not to damage the relationship directly but to ignore the target is one way of coping with conflict. Ignoring passes on an unsatisfied feeling silently. This study used the dynamic model of interpersonal harmony and conflict to explore ignoring. 13 participants were interviewed to report their own ignoring experiences.
The results showed that the ignoring process is a practice in how to balance the I-Thou psychological distance and it affects future intimate relationships. Close friendships in adolescence are high support relationships but can be unstable. Due to obscure role obligation, causes of conflict in these relationships include “unwittingly harm”,” inequitable affections”, “anger transferring”, and ”more independent space”. In addition to all of these hidden conflicts are illegitimate reasons. Also, the cultural drive to maintain harmony results in a dilemma where acting out hurts the other but not acting out hurts oneself.
There were four results after this “stuck in the mud” period. If the conflict stayed vague, the relationship entered into superficial harmony, where the closeness of the relationship was decreased. If the conflict grew, the resulting relationship was broken. If there was a chance to communicate clearly and express each other’s value in the relationship, the resulting relationship entered into genuine harmony. The last result was an unfinished situation due to the high affection in adolescent friendship. Even though there was no longer contact, these people did not easily identify the end of the relationship. This suggests, the results after ignoring are not all negative. However from the relationship aggression point of view, positive results cannot be found.
Thus, this research suggests using the the interpersonal and harmony views to explore ignoring and it is suggested that understanding the ignoring situation is more effective than blocking it in practice.
| Identifer | oai:union.ndltd.org:CHENGCHI/G0096752018 |
| Creators | 賴思伃, Lai, Szu Yu |
| Publisher | 國立政治大學 |
| Source Sets | National Chengchi University Libraries |
| Language | 中文 |
| Detected Language | English |
| Type | text |
| Rights | Copyright © nccu library on behalf of the copyright holders |
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