A mere glance at a family photograph of the Victorian era leaves little doubt of the position of the figure exuding impervious, authoritarian detachment. Austere, rigid and solemn, it is not hard to guess who cast the shadow over the picture. Arrestingly imposing in his role as backbone of the family, this is the nineteenth century legacy image of the father. However, the last century has seen fatherhood redefine itself and the more liberal, lenient and openly loving figure replaced the strict patriarchal model. In contemporary times, fathers are regularly seen comfortably behind a stroller, outdoors with children on their shoulders, at home tousling with their children, and considerably more involved in school and social events. Unashamedly, fathers have moved toward both acknowledging and displaying a softer paternal image. By definition fatherhood is a decidedly individual concept and a unique experience, involving much more than being the male parent in a family, the family protector, or the provider of paycheques. Although the past decade has seen a surge of research and interest in fatherhood with an increased recognition that the involvement of fathers contribute to the well-being, cognitive growth and social competence of their children, there remains a deficit in research on the experiences, perceptions and involvement of fathers of children diagnosed with Down syndrome. And whilst most of this knowledge base is extrapolated from studies about the mother’s experience, true understanding requires that fathers are studied directly. Mothers and fathers respond differently to the pressure associated with raising a child with Down syndrome and literature supports the common view that men are less likely and easy to engage in therapy than women, are less likely to attend therapy, or seek help for physical or psychological problems. For fathers of any differently abled child, the distance between the idealized fathering experience and the actual one may be enormous. Based upon the patriarchy model of the family, in many conventional homes, the wife and mother is like a thermometer, sensing and reflecting the home’s temperature, whilst the father and husband is like the home’s thermostat, which determines and regulates the temperature. The equilibrium of the father plays an important role in his ‘thermostat settings’ to set the right temperature in the marriage and his family. Having a differently abled child is almost never expected and often necessitates a change in plans as the family members adjust their views of their own future, their future with their child, as well as how they will henceforth operate as a family.Some fathers may experience uncertainty about their parenting role of a child diagnosed with Down syndrome, often resulting in peculiar behaviours of the father. This may include engrossing themselves into their work, hobbies, sport, and so forth, almost abdicating their duty as father; believing that the mother knows best (sometimes using their own lack of knowledge as a cop-out); or, they simply withdraw because the mother takes such complete control of every aspect of the child that the father feels inadequate, superfluous, and peripheral as parent. Each parent grieves the ‘loss’ of the child they expected in their own individual way. However, such a highly emotive situation may be compounded by the following aspects: the undeniable pressure of caring for the differently abled child; the additional financial burden; a waning social life; and, the incapacity to cope emotionally whilst invariably displaying the contrary purely to create the illusion that they are indeed coping. Fathers need to develop strategies and skills to cope with the very real and practical needs of parenting their child with Down syndrome, to furthermore minimize relationship conflict and misunderstanding, and to support their child’s optimal development. How these specific issues are embraced and managed may dramatically influence the peace and harmony of family life as well as the marital relationship. This study explores the perspectives of fathers of a child with Down syndrome to ultimately support this unique journey as they navigate their way through “Down”town Holland, as illustrated in the analogy to follow.
| Identifer | oai:union.ndltd.org:netd.ac.za/oai:union.ndltd.org:nmmu/vital:27220 |
| Date | January 2017 |
| Creators | Webber, Heidi |
| Publisher | Nelson Mandela University, Faculty of Education |
| Source Sets | South African National ETD Portal |
| Language | English |
| Detected Language | English |
| Type | Thesis, Doctoral, DEd |
| Format | vi, 325 leaves, pdf |
| Rights | Nelson Mandela University |
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