Among the AmaXhosa the death of a person is marked by a tradition called ukuzila - the equivalent of the mourning process. As a sign of spousal mourning, and to show respect, the remaining spouse has to put on a marker (be visible). However, it is mostly the woman who is under obligation to show her mourner status by wearing ‘clothes of mourning’. The discriminatory nature of the practice, especially pertaining to visibility and some of the detrimental effects on the widows’ health and safety have been documented by some researchers, but the reasons for the continuity of visibility remain largely unexplored. Taking into account the dynamic nature of ‘culture’, this research explored the discourses deployed in men and women’s constructions of ukuzila specifically focusing on spousal mourning and the continuity of widows’ visibility in spite of their resistance to it. The research used postcolonial feminism drawing on postructuralism as its theoretical lens. This theoretical lens provided useful concepts such as hybridity, visibility, surveillance and power with which to examine spousal mourning and conceptualised people’s subject positions as multiple, fluid and contingent. Furthermore, the research employed thematic and discourse analysis at its methodology. Discourse analysis was employed to identify and analyse the discourses utilised in the constructions of spousal mourning. The research was conducted through focus group discussions held with younger and older urban and rural men and women, as well as interviews held with widows and widowers and key cultural informants. Concerning the question of constructions of spousal mourning for men and women, visibility of the mourner emerged as a central and contentious issue. Some participants were of the view that one could show mourning by engaging in culturally appropriate mourning behaviour, whilst others were of the view that showing one’s mourning had to be visible by publicly displaying mourning through a marker. Another group proposed mourning “by heart”, whereby the mourners’ status could either be inferred from their behaviour, whereas others maintained that behaviour was not mandatory. Various justifications for the continued visibility of widows were advanced. These justifications included showing love and respect to the deceased husband; showing respect to the ancestors; and helping to monitor their own behaviour in order to ensure that it is in line with appropriate mourning behaviour. The continued visibility of widows was also used to regulate the widows’ sexuality. Widows were coerced to put on ‘clothes of mourning’ in order to ‘protect’ them from being approached by men for a relationship during the mourning period. The regulation of the movement of widows was also managed through visibility. Widows’ movements were restricted in order to protect the community from pollution or bad luck. For example, they were not allowed to visit places of entertainment or visit other households. Key discourses identified were the familial-‘ukwenda’, respect-‘hlonipha’, and male sexual drive (MSD) discourse. The familial - ‘ukwenda’ discourse is centred on the idea that one is ‘married to the household’, which includes the nuclear family and wider extended family including ancestors. According to the respect-‘hlonipha’ discourse, respect is due to others on the basis of their age, status, and more especially their gender. Showing respect (hlonipha) necessitates the avoidance of all forms of behaviour and utterances that could be deemed disrespectful. The MSD holds a widespread view of sexuality as a biological drive that resides within each male and it was drawn on to make sense of discontinued visibility among widowers, whilst visibility of widows continued. It is argued that it is these discourses, embedded in the ‘culture’ of the AmaXhosa and upheld by the family that sustain the discriminatory nature of the practice, especially concerning the continued visibility of widows in spite of the resistance that has been voiced.

This study was conducted on the mourning rituals of the AmaXhosa widows of the Eastern Cape Province of South Africa. The study focused on the descriptive presentation of the experiences of the AmaXhosa widows in the Buffalo City municipality of the Province. The study sought to establish the widows’ perceptions regarding the mourning rituals and to interpret their experiences within the context of contemporary cultural, religious, gender and socio-political influences. The experiences among the widows interviewed were found to have a similar context but their perceptions about the mourning rituals were different between the widows younger than 40 years and those older than 50 years. Widows from urban and rural areas of East London, Mdantsane Township and from within a 60 kilometre radius of East London were interviewed. Purposive random sampling was used to identify an equal number of either urban or rural voluntary participants for the study. Structured interviews were held with widows ranging in age from 29 to 91 years. An interpretative phenomenological analysis of the recorded discussions was conducted. The experiences of the AmaXhosa widows during the conduct of the mourning rituals are described. The key findings of the study indicated that most of the widows felt they had to go through the mourning rituals mainly to show respect for their departed husbands and so that the dignity of the family and clan was maintained. The mourning rituals seemed mostly to have negative implications for the widows such as a lack of family and financial support and being treated as social outcasts; however the rituals also seemed to help the women adjust to their new status as widows. Although the mourning rituals were embedded in the socio-cultural tradition generally followed by the AmaXhosa, religious beliefs also influenced some of the traditions by introducing changes in the way some widows conducted the mourning rituals. For example, some religions advocated for shorter periods of mourning than usual as well as wearing different types of mourning clothes from the usual black or purple dress. Overall the perceptions of the older widows aged above 50 years revealed that they had no reservations about performing the mourning rituals and quite readily and unquestioningly accepted the customs. The younger widows aged below 40 years on the other hand felt that the mourning rituals were biased against women and did not serve a useful purpose and even proposed changes to the manner in which the mourning rituals are conducted particularly the shortening of the mourning period from 12 to 6 months or less. However, they seemed to recognize the role played by the mourning ritual in lessening and possibly healing the pain and sorrow caused by their bereavement.

The dominant emphasis in Western models of bereavement is on the breaking of bonds with the deceased in order for healing to occur. Failure to let go often leads to a diagnosis of 'pathological grief'. This paper challenges the assumption that death invariably means that the bonds with the deceased have to be severed. Situating Western models of bereavement in a modernist context not only challenges the 'truth' claims of these models, but also facilitates a deconstruction of the elements that contribute to the emphasis on letting go. In contrast to these theories, two Xhosa rituals (umkhapho and umbuyiso) that seek to sustain the bond with the deceased person will be examined. Such rituals demonstrate that it is possible to both maintain the bond and for the bereaved person to move on with their lives. Despite different contexts, it will be argued that these Xhosa bereavement rituals have a contribution to make to Western models of bereavement and some implications for therapy will be explored.