This is a creative thesis that contains two components: 1) a critical introduction that defends the representation of mixed-status families and deportation narratives, and 2) a memoir that depicts my experience with deportation and as a member of a mixed-status family. The second component of this thesis will consist of the first four chapters of my memoir, with the remaining chapters to be completed post-graduation. These chapters take place the years before my parents’ deportation and the year immediately after. The memoir is a coming-of-age story that explores my ethnic identity, along with themes such as insider versus outsider. This exploration is represented through the image of the red front door and is the central metaphor of this memoir.

Growing Up Village is a collection of essays about life in an Alaskan Native village. Ranging in time from early childhood to late twenties, the stories examine how home and place influence the narrator's identity, what the narrator learns from the people around her, and how events, both minor and major, can impact and change a life. Ultimately, this collection of essays explores themes of home, family, culture, loss, courage, and community.

These Romantic Dreams in Our Heads is a collection of linked essays that study how key relationships in the narrator's life intersect. The essays attempt to show the complicated nature of relationships and how multiple lives are affected by one's decisions. Taking place over two years, the relationships in focus involve the narrator's parents, his girlfriend, and his dog. The essays deal with themes of manhood, parenthood, gender roles, religion, and memory. The characters deal with discovering their limitations and searching for a balance between responsibility for others and responsibility for their own lives.

According to the Gospel of Haunted Women is a collection of seventy-five poems divided into four sections. The voices speaking within, are, indeed haunted by varying definitions. They bespeak complex, troubled emotions such as guilt, shame, and anxiety, yet work towards expressions of courage. The dead and the living are cajoled and accused, while others are provided a format through which they may be heard long after their mouths have closed. The poems are arranged in four sections. Section I, “We Begin,” consists of memoir pieces from the poet's early life. Section II, “We Speak,” is a dedicated space for the voices of both the famous and the obscure. The third section, “We Migrate,” gathers an eclectic assortment of female speakers expressing geographical and mental transference, interweaving personal migratory poems of the author. The final section, “We Hunger,” returns to personal pieces that speak from a more settled, albeit still haunted, vantage point.

"Jack Kerouac Does Not Lie" recounts my pilgrimage in the summer of 2000, from southwest Florida to a canyon beach in California where Jack Kerouac—as I had read in his Big Sur—lost his mind forty years earlier. I was heavily influenced. Kerouac’s On the Road showed me what to do with myself. Big Sur showed me where to go. In the twentieth century Americans shifted their notions of the west coast from a means for sustenance to a symbol of post-war freedom. Kerouac seems to embody this momentum; the world and the burning spirit his work describes is a precursor to the sixties. His muse, Neal Cassady, is the common link—appearing as Dean Moriarty in Kerouac’s first major work and later as himself in Wolfe’s The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. My parents were a part of this westward yearning’s last true surge in the early seventies, when they ventured cross-country and stayed out there for a time. They’d caught the tail end of the wave, and told me a bit about it. I was full of stories, mostly fiction. Sweating in my twenty year old conversion van with a big friend, Ben—whose goals were less "literary"—I sought to recreate the legends I had read, the movies I had seen, and the tales my parents had told me. I was on a mission; I wanted my trip to measure up. Ben was on vacation. Our folly is chronicled within; three weeks and four thousand miles of it.

Inspired by the work of writers Hunter S. Thompson and Tom Wolfe and motivated by celebrity prevaricator James Frey, Journey to the Scars: A White Trash Epic is a memoir that attempts to redefine the genre by applying the ideals and themes of gonzo and new journalism. The opening chapter, "The Diary of John Doe Frankenstein" tells the story of a pivotal event in the author's life. Immediately following this narrative of a near fatal motorcycle accident, the author/narrator's reliability is called into question and the remainder of the memoir is the story of the author's efforts to uncover the truth about himself, and more importantly, the events and motivating forces that led to the author's almost Near Death Experience. Starting with a nonjudgmental look at the life of his parents before he was born, our unreliable narrator/author hopes to improve the reader's opinion of himself while also uncovering the true stories behind all the fictional ones he's been telling himself and others his entire life. As he learns more about where he came from, he begins to try to understand why he has made some of the decisions in his own life. Life is one long party for James Patrick Makowski and he shares his experiences not as a victim of his choices, but as a lonely man who just doesn't want to be left off of any of Life's guest lists. In a final attempt to improve his credibility with the reader, the author retells the story of his accident with as much focus on factual detail and verifiable events as possible. His select poems reveal his attempts at emotional honesty while appending documentation is included for the purposes of veracity. Treating himself as a hostile witness, the narrator/author goes on to share the development of his literary integrity when he meets the most honest person he has ever met--the drug dealing Dog. "Tales of the Dog" summarizes the author/narrator's attempts to improve his credibility and why this quest has been so important to him. Journey to the Scars: A White Trash Epic is the gonzo story of one man's efforts to be his own messiah. The author/narrator, after realizing that his life to date has been in large part the result of his efforts to forget his past, J Patrick Rader begins his efforts to remember his.

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"a testament to sacrilege" is an autofiction that handles queer identity, monstrosity, religious trauma, and mental illness. Refusing to bend into traditional narrative structure, the work instead fluctuates between the known and the not-known; a work that acts as wet cloth in either a balm or a drowning. What makes a monster? What does it mean to be good? Weaving narrative prose, essay writing, and memoir, “a testament to sacrilege” follows three phases in the life of the narrator and Mouse - a dissociative state the narrator is able to access only through trauma. Focused on the power of feminine relationships in the face of violence, the 40,000-word collage uses erasure text to simulate the experience of OCD as it is felt by the author. While the work is necessarily delicate, it is also hopeful - Mouse and the narrator learn to work through recovery. While the narrator is inevitably able to overcome her past, “a testament to sacrilege” is not interested in the specifics of suffering: instead, it is interested in what it takes to survive that suffering. The initial opening to “a testament of sacrilege” was the recipient of the 2021 Harvey Swados Fiction award.

[First paragraph of Preface] I set out to write an essay three years ago that started with the line “I always find God in the bathroom—don’t ask me why,” which is entirely true and says so much while explaining so little. Within a page and a half I briefly introduced a scene, a memory,where I had sequestered myself in a toilet stall in the bathroom on my sorority’s dorm floor at Eastern Kentucky University. I mentioned the scenario—I was hiding from a serial rapist who, for some reason, decided I’d be a good target—in just a few paragraphs and moved on as if it had the paltry significance of last week’s soggy newspaper lying under the dog bowl. After all, I only wrote it because it was a required exercise in my first graduate writing class; I was going to write my thesis in fiction.

My thesis, Escape Artist, is a composite novel written as a fictitious memoir, similar in style to Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried, that describes my experiences between the years 2001 and 2011. During that time I went through Marine Corps Boot Camp, became a military police officer, patrolled Yuma, AZ, was sent to Iraq for a sevenmonth tour as a security detail just before the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom, and made it back home four years later. The novel also looks into my struggles with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms, how they affected the people around me, and what I've been trying to do to remedy them (or ignore them)