This dissertation engages the question of what a queer aesthetics might look like in the context of contemporary music composition. Starting with a discussion of the problematics of “defining” queer (aesthetic) practices, I look at Pauline Oliveros’ 𝘚𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘤 𝘔𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, Julius Eastman’s 𝘎𝘢𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢 and Neo Hülcker’s 𝘈 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘺. 𝘍𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 to uncover particular resistant and subversive strategies present in their works. In addition to a close examination of the original score materials, I look into queer theories and writings from fields other than music, such as dance/performance and the visual arts, in order to identify and apply some of the traits that could be called queer aesthetics (or practices/methodologies) to the field of contemporary music composition. Among the topics discussed will be considerations on time/timing, utopia/futurity, professionalism/failure, queer subject matter and form/format. Avoiding the trap of closing in on a canonization of queer music practices, it is the stated goal of this dissertation to expand the framework and contribute to a new understanding of what queer composition within the context of Western classical music might look like.

This dissertation is an analysis and critical framing of my recent compositional work, magnolias in bloom (2022) and Weavings (2023), both of which utilize ephemerality as a sonic and physical property to illustrate the content and narrative of the compositions. I give an overview of the last five years of installations, performances, and compositions and highlight ideas of grief, identity, and queerness within my recent work. I investigate how my composition magnolias in bloom uses the ephemeral nature of unfired clay and amplifies the sound it makes when immersed in water as a metaphor for loss and grief. I also look at how the unstable nature of analog modular synthesis, nonlinear modulation, and timbral fluidity contribute to themes of queer theory and identity politics. Through these works, ephemera is left behind in the form of clay and patch cables. At the end of each chapter I examine works that have both influenced and informed my practice and throughout the dissertation, I highlight the writings of José Esteban Muñoz, Pauline Oliveros, and bell hooks to relate their work to my own practice. My analysis of magnolias in bloom and Weavings through a lens of ephemerality draws a connecting thread between the two vastly different compositions.