This study considers the changing ideals of marriage during the 19th century as reflected in acollection of Swedish bourgeoisie love-letters from the 1870s. Through a combined quantitative andqualitative effort the goal is to establish how adherents to the relatively new ideal of marriage forthe sake of romantic love; thought, wrote and experienced the material aspects of marriage. It alsoaspires to shed light on how traditional family influence on the marital sphere survived the proposedshift in ideals.The study finds that family, economy and shared feelings were themes that dominated the letters.Individuals that adhered to the ideal of romantic love spent considerable time realizing the materialpre-requisites of marriage. This leads to a conclusion that marriage ideals and marriage practiceevolved at different paces. Family influence largely survived the change of ideals through paternalauthority, individual immersion in the family-dominated socio-economic network and aspirations ofthe young to retain the socio-economic status of their elders.