This project investigates the experiences of a small group of social service practitioners as they consider the question of what it means to be Pakeha in Aotearoa New Zealand in 2004. Specifically this study considers the contribution of Māori cultural knowledges to Pakeha identity. It also explores whether therapeutic practices that participants have available, are relevant to their current claims of Pakeha identity. This study highlights the complexity of experience and multiple stories that inform constructions of identity. In approaching the topic I was aware that many important stories of people's lived experience are not often told. People are often silenced due to the difficulty of 'telling'. In this exploration, space was created for the telling of stories, which are often not easily told: stories of struggle and pain; stories of compassionate witnessing; stories of rule-breaking; stories of stepping into territory beyond binaries and stories of richness and delight. Knowledges have been produced that indicate the need for carefully crafted space for often very difficult identity conversations to occur and for voices to be heard. Further, the study has produced knowledges for scaffolding for respectful and honouring conversations . The stories of this project indicate that the conversations required, have their foundation through engagement with the value of fairness. Findings also indicate that forums, where mutual contribution to identity for both Māori and Pakeha can be acknowledged, are a critical to establishing ongoing honourable relationships between Pakeha and Māori New Zealanders. Throughout this project participants acknowledge and honour the rich contribution of Māori knowledges and language to their Pakeha identity.