This study aims to better understand tough love as a communication interaction, specifically focusing on defining and understand tough love from a receiver’s perspective. Thirteen respondents between the ages of 18-28 were recruited from a mid-sized Midwestern university. Flexible in-depth interviews were conducted given the exploratory nature of this study. Lazarus’ Appraisal Theory was used as a lens to better understand tough love as a process. Analysis of the data found that emotions in the primary appraisal phase are often negative, with codes such as hurt, angry, and embarrassed arising in the data. The secondary phase demonstrated the intentionality of this message, with respondents understanding the purpose of tough love as encouraging resilience or teaching a lesson. Reappraisals often occurred when respondents realized the message was tough love. Relational factors such as closeness and authority were determinants in whether this message was received positively or negatively.

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