本文以癌症病人慧心的生命故事敘說作為探究人之自我陶養的取俓。以探問生命主體如何面對「死亡」的威脅，以及自身對「死亡」之憂懼為起點，以生命故事訪談的方式，自2005年至2007年進行三次訪談。旨在回溯與探究主體歷經種種足堪造成生命斷裂的重大事件—病痛及死亡威脅，重新詮釋、乃至轉化自身生命意義的自我陶養過程。
本文以人生如歌的意象將章節結構分為三部分。第一篇《前奏曲》可視為進入慧心生命故事前的準備，共分為兩章。第一章「緒論」 從研究者之生命經驗出發，回溯自身對死亡與生命意義之怖畏與好奇，並探究自病痛將主體推至多重乃至終極的斷裂（死亡）中，主體創造與尋求出口的「轉化」與「超越」的能力與可能性。第二章「生命的陶養」則提出陶養理論，論述自古典陶養理論對「人之本質」、「自我陶養」，「個人與他者及世界的關係（從異化到回返自身）」的討論，到後現代陶養理論所持之「去目的」、「自我學習」、「自我理解」與「自我創造與轉化」的觀點。第三節「病痛的生命故事敘說」則解釋本文之研究方法、研究目的與問題，並簡介訪談對象之背景。
第二篇 《如歌的行版》包括有三章。第三章「慧心生命歷程分析」首先描述三次訪談歷程與內容，並從「時間性」之向度分析文本結構，第三節則描繪文本中所浮顯之敘說者慧心形貌，並給出一慧心生命故事速寫，筆者並以同樣身為女性的、女兒的、妻子的、思索生命意義與死亡者、以及研究者之不同角度與身份，後設地剖析自身與慧心之間的關係，以及對其文本詮釋角度所帶來的影響。第五章之後則開始正式進入文本解析與討論，探究慧心在生命不同時期的自我發展與轉化過程。第四章「自我的澄明與追尋」主述慧心在染患病痛（癌症）前的生命歷程中，如何在追隨模仿他者與婚姻生活中迷失與覺醒，最後藉由投身於藝術世界之行動來追尋自我。「尋找我之所是的生命圖像」的生命追求因而浮顯，並貫穿於三份敘說文本中，成為其終極關懷。第五章「病痛的挑戰」則解析慧心面對病痛與死亡威脅所帶來的挑戰，成為自己的英雄，並如何以信仰為最大的精神支持系統與治療方式，逐步重新詮釋病痛、死亡與生命意義，由生命圖像由「悲劇英雄」漸轉化為「修行者」。
在第三篇 《無名之歌》裡，第六章「療癒」以「生命主控權的重獲」與「愛與願」兩節解析慧心的療癒與轉化歷程。藉由1.將病因自我歸因、2.重新掌握對病因、治療方式、待治療對象的詮釋權、3.自身的修行、4.關懷他者、5.重詮苦痛經驗等五項要素，慧心得以將「治療」轉為具積極性的「自療」，因而重獲生命的主控權。同時，她也得以化解原伏藏於內心身處的恐懼，將其轉化為對他者的大愛，從自利轉為利他的願力進而萌發，成為懷抱大愛與大願之「願者」。第七章「成為一個人」則綜合整析慧心自我陶養的歷程，尤重其在歷經病痛與死亡威脅後自我陶養之可能性與內涵。本章並就「存在目的」、「人生觀」、「對病痛的詮釋」、「人我關係」、「新世界之生成」、「生死觀」五向度，討論慧心從「悲劇英雄」、至「修行者」到「願者」的轉化歷程中在此五向度上的轉變，並融塑出屬慧心之「信、愛、願、行」的生命特質。其次，本章並根據研究結果形構一慧心自我陶養模式，包括下列七項因素：1.「對界限處境的體驗與正視」、2.「調適變動的策略」、3.「新世界的構作」、4.「自我解離與自我反思能力」、5.「非線性、盤旋而生的陶養歷程」、6.「宗教作為支持系統的輔助與啟明」、7.「敘說、重詮與創化」。本章最後則進一步根據本研究發現進一步省思陶養教育實踐的可能性，並特別針對生死（生命）教育的進行提出建議。 / By interviewing a cancer patient, Huai-shih’s life story, this thesis aims at exploring how the subject re-interprets the meaning of disruptions in her life, including illness and the ultimate disruption-death, and how she transforms the meaning of life. Research data were collected over two years from the year of 2005 to 2007. All these so called disruptions evolve Huai-shih’s life transformation and constitute the process of Self Bildung.
Inspired by the metaphor that life is as a graceful melody, the whole thesis is divided into three volumes. The first volume-“ Prelude ” can be concerned as a preparation before going into Huai-shih’s life story. Three chapters are included in it. The first chapter traces back from the researcher’s anxiety and curiosity of life and death from her own life experience, and intend to enquire the possibilities of the subject seeking for transcendence. The second chapter aims at the theory of Bildung, several concepts such as“ human nature”, “self-Bildung”, “relationship between self and others and the outer world ”, “self-understanding” , “self- learning” and “self-transformation are discussed. The history of life education in Taiwan is also articulated in this chapter. The third chapter is to present the research method, research purpose and research question. Our interviewee, Huai-shih is also briefly introduced in this chapter.
The second volume is named as “Andante Cantabile”. The fourth chapter analyzes and constitutes the structure of text and portrays a vivid image of Huai-shih’s character. The fifth chapter analyzes the process of how Huai-shih struggled to find her self-identity from the marital relationship before she contracted breast cancer. A main life picture of a subject who works hard to find the answer of who I am has emerged and become Huai-shih’s ultimate concern. The sixth chapter analyzes how Huai-shih adopting her attitudes to face illness and the threaten of death. With the empowerment of religion, she reinterprets the meaning of illness, death and life, and initiates new life belief and inner power. Here Huai-shih is not a “tragic hero” as she named herself before, she has already transformed into a “practicer” who dedicated herself into the faith of Buddhism and practice.
Three chapters are included in the third volume. The seventh chapter focuses on how Huai-shih re-controlling her life and digging out that there is a strong love inside her life. She learns to love not only people around her and also strangers again and wishes all human beings can find their happiness and leave far away from sufferings。“Self attribution”, “Re-interpreting the cause of illness and the meaning of therapy ”, “Self-practice”, “Caring for others”, “Re-interpreting personal suffering and illness experiences ”are main elements that enforcing the process of life transformation. She becomes the one who has love and willing of helping others. In the eighth chapter, with the following elements a model of self-Bildung of Huai-shih is constituted : 1.“Facing up to the boundary situations”, 2.“ Adjustment strategies of changes ”, 3.“Constitution of new worlds”, 4.“ The ability of self-detachment and self-reflectoin ”, 5.“A non-linear, spiral process of self-Bildung ”, 6.“ The illumination and support of religion”, 7.“ Narrative, repretation, and creation”. Through this clarification and analyzing of life and death phenomena, the conclusion intends to enrich the field of life and death education and create the possibilities for learners to proceed their own self-learning and understanding from others’ life stories.
| Identifer | oai:union.ndltd.org:CHENGCHI/G0911525014 |
| Creators | 林靜如 |
| Publisher | 國立政治大學 |
| Source Sets | National Chengchi University Libraries |
| Language | 中文 |
| Detected Language | English |
| Type | text |
| Rights | Copyright © nccu library on behalf of the copyright holders |
Page generated in 0.0028 seconds