As I investigate, construct, and tell autobiographic narratives of mothering, of loss, and of hope, both the process of research and the "story fabric" evolve as both written and visual, an interplay of image and text. I involve myself in this investigation as I expect that it is in these places of loss, disability, and dependence that one can find things of great value, perhaps a way of being with each other, of caring, of sharing of self, and of receiving the other that does not depend on growth or achievement or on progress in learning. Ted Aoki writes of "face to face living" (1993, p. 59) of teacher and student. Living, as it were, not at a distance, but face to face and engaged as we open ourselves to the daily struggles and challenges we bring to our work, our teachingAearning, and to our research. Autobiographic narrative offers a way in, extends an invitation to give and to receive.

As I investigate, construct, and tell autobiographic narratives of mothering, of loss, and of hope, both the process of research and the "story fabric" evolve as both written and visual, an interplay of image and text. I involve myself in this investigation as I expect that it is in these places of loss, disability, and dependence that one can find things of great value, perhaps a way of being with each other, of caring, of sharing of self, and of receiving the other that does not depend on growth or achievement or on progress in learning. Ted Aoki writes of "face to face living" (1993, p. 59) of teacher and student. Living, as it were, not at a distance, but face to face and engaged as we open ourselves to the daily struggles and challenges we bring to our work, our teachingAearning, and to our research. Autobiographic narrative offers a way in, extends an invitation to give and to receive. / Education, Faculty of / Curriculum and Pedagogy (EDCP), Department of / Graduate

A memoir is variously defined as an abbreviated autobiography; a record of events based on the writer's personal observation or knowledge; and the written story of one's own life. I set out to do those things. But when I sat back to read the first of many drafts, I discovered my story was her story-my mother's. At some level, I have always known this. But I was unprepared to see the evidence writ large. But more than that, I was dismayed that the wisdom I imagined my calendar years had conferred, was not reflected in my writing. There was still the primal wail of a weeping child. Quieter, of course. Wailing is not seemly for occasions other than childbirth, great loss, or sudden death. And railing against the past is utterly futile. Foolish. I found great comfort in the words of C. S. Lewis. They mirrored my experience. As the telling of my story deepened, the writing became, successively, an incision, a probe, and as Lewis says, a surgery of the gods. Like surgery, there was first of all fear, followed by pain, discovery, excision, loss, repair and restoration, and finally, healing and a different outlook altogether. I found great value in revisiting these memories and seeing that the giants of my young years are only human, after all, not the ogres I imagined. Like the shadow in a darkened room, the house cat stretched on the window sill looms like a great inscrutable Sphinx. A tree branch, benign by day, morphs into a grotesque claw, scratching and scraping at the window pane. Memories rear up at first like ghosts in a graveyard. But under a steady beam of light, the apparitions subside. Writing this memoir has been a window into the past, perhaps an icon, a way of seeing beyond the surface and into the soul. My own certainly, and perhaps glimpses of the others I've written about as well. Two central truths have emerged from writing my memoir. The first is the power of forgiveness in healing relationships. Forgiveness is not our natural bent; it goes completely against our natural state. But we can choose to change. Just as learning to swim is counter to our earthbound existence, but possible, learning to embrace the freedom of forgiveness is also possible. The second is something I've always sensed, but now know: the innate power of a mother to shape the soul of her child. / Graduation date: 2003

This study is aimed at elucidating the meaning of therapeutic change within the context of a person's life story. The author believes that delineation of therapeutic change within this context may help to overcome the incongruence among counselling theory, research, practice, and the experience of counselling clients. After reviewing the traditional literature on therapy outcome and change, the new options coming from narrative approaches were considered. The qualitative method of a multiple-case study was chosen as the most appropriate for the posed question. Three participants in this project completed either individual (1 woman) or group (1 woman and 1 man) therapy, and believed that they achieved a substantial therapeutic change; all of them had written their autobiography in the beginning of their therapy. In each case study, the autobiography was interpreted, the interpretation refined in the Life story interview, and validated in another interview with the participant. Then the Current life interview and the Interview with a significant other were conducted, and the Portrait of change was construed; again, the product was reviewed and validated with the participant. All interpretations, and the videotapes of interviews were reviewed by two independent judges. The three Portraits of change were mutually compared, and the working delineation of the therapeutic change within the context of a person's life story was abstracted from this comparison. In all 3 cases, the change seemed to be connected with a substantial reinterpretation of the individual's life story. This reinterpretation seemed to be based on the change of the individual's fundamental beliefs about self and others in-the-world, on greater and more flexible acceptance of self and others in their relational complexity, and on positioning one's Self as an agentic hero in his or her own life story. These changes were also reflected in the genre, the formal structure, and the explanatory reasoning of the new stories the participants told about their current lives, and lived by. The limitations of this study, and the implications of the findings for counselling theory, practice, and future research are discussed.

This study is aimed at elucidating the meaning of therapeutic change within the context of a person's life story. The author believes that delineation of therapeutic change within this context may help to overcome the incongruence among counselling theory, research, practice, and the experience of counselling clients. After reviewing the traditional literature on therapy outcome and change, the new options coming from narrative approaches were considered. The qualitative method of a multiple-case study was chosen as the most appropriate for the posed question. Three participants in this project completed either individual (1 woman) or group (1 woman and 1 man) therapy, and believed that they achieved a substantial therapeutic change; all of them had written their autobiography in the beginning of their therapy. In each case study, the autobiography was interpreted, the interpretation refined in the Life story interview, and validated in another interview with the participant. Then the Current life interview and the Interview with a significant other were conducted, and the Portrait of change was construed; again, the product was reviewed and validated with the participant. All interpretations, and the videotapes of interviews were reviewed by two independent judges. The three Portraits of change were mutually compared, and the working delineation of the therapeutic change within the context of a person's life story was abstracted from this comparison. In all 3 cases, the change seemed to be connected with a substantial reinterpretation of the individual's life story. This reinterpretation seemed to be based on the change of the individual's fundamental beliefs about self and others in-the-world, on greater and more flexible acceptance of self and others in their relational complexity, and on positioning one's Self as an agentic hero in his or her own life story. These changes were also reflected in the genre, the formal structure, and the explanatory reasoning of the new stories the participants told about their current lives, and lived by. The limitations of this study, and the implications of the findings for counselling theory, practice, and future research are discussed. / Education, Faculty of / Educational and Counselling Psychology, and Special Education (ECPS), Department of / Graduate

The purposes of this study were to investigate the possible therapeutic and educational effects of writing an autobiography in an undergraduate developmental psychology course, to explore the role of structure in writing an autobiography, and to determine if any significant sex differences exist in the effects of writing an autobiography.

It is widely believed among developmental psychologists that old age is a distinct developmental stage with unique goals, struggles and opportunities for growth. Achieving integrity involves making sense of disparate aspects of one's life and seing life as one complete whole, rather than bits and pieces of a puzzle. Integrity is achieved when each part of the puzzle is put into place, forming one complete picture.