In this dissertation the author embarks on a journey of storying and re-storying her life. Autoethnographic evocative personal narratives are used as the method of presentation. Congruent with a postmodern stance, the text repositions the reader as a co-participant in dialogue. In this journey there is a move from a reductionistic understanding of "self" to an understanding of "self" as socially constructed, multiple and changing processes. The author's process of differentiation is embodied and informed by this changing view of "self" as part of, being informed by, shaping and being shaped by the conversations she co-creates in dialogical contexts. This means taking a double-sided, reflexive view of relationships and systems, opens a space for a flexible way of being and imparts sensitivity to the discourses she co-creates. This journey entails taking action that keeps a self-reflexive dialogue going, allowing for different voices to emerge and various encounters to become possible. / Psychology / M.A. (Clinical Psychology)

In this dissertation the author embarks on a journey of storying and re-storying her life. Autoethnographic evocative personal narratives are used as the method of presentation. Congruent with a postmodern stance, the text repositions the reader as a co-participant in dialogue. In this journey there is a move from a reductionistic understanding of "self" to an understanding of "self" as socially constructed, multiple and changing processes. The author's process of differentiation is embodied and informed by this changing view of "self" as part of, being informed by, shaping and being shaped by the conversations she co-creates in dialogical contexts. This means taking a double-sided, reflexive view of relationships and systems, opens a space for a flexible way of being and imparts sensitivity to the discourses she co-creates. This journey entails taking action that keeps a self-reflexive dialogue going, allowing for different voices to emerge and various encounters to become possible. / Psychology / M.A. (Clinical Psychology)

As an artist, my work reflects my own life experiences, allowing me to reinterpret and process difficult events in a new light. Creating art is a therapeutic process for me, enabling me to explore and understand my past and my own Self. In line with James Baldwin's views, I believe that the duty of an artist is to provide their audience with an opportunity to rediscover themselves; to help them explore their inner selves. In my experience, to achieve that goal, the first and most important hurdle the artist needs to cross is exploring themselves. In the process of answering questions about their own selves, they can touch many other souls. In Fragmented Self, I employ composited 3D animations of my own body parts juxtaposed over still and moving images. Each body part and piece in Fragmented Self is a metaphorical representation of a specific experience I have lived through. The resulting pieces are meditative, surreal, and abstracted spaces that speak to the complexities of life experiences. I believe each body holds messages from the past, and in Fragmented Self, I disembody and fragment my own body to study and explore my own Self. Drawing inspiration from Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass in which he proclaims, "I contain multitudes", I see my Self as a composite of various selves shaped by different life experiences coming together to form one Self. I believe that I am a constantly evolving individual, influencing my everyday encounters and choices. As in the Japanese tradition of Kintsugi, in Fragmented Self, I trace the gold lined cracks that unite my multitudinous selves into one in hopes of answering the question "What makes me who I am today?" / Master of Fine Arts / Fragmented Self is a body of artwork created in an effort to learn about my own Self. The work explores how I see my Self as containing multiple selves. The project utilizes video and 3D rendering to create digital composites with semi-realistic aesthetics. The finished work includes 3 pieces focusing on ideas of time, perception, and fragmentation.

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Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Technology : Fine Arts, Durban University of Technology, Durban, South Africa, 2014. / The motivation for this research results from the notion that art-making is a regenerative enriching process that can counteract the sense of dislocation that one suffers as a consequence of depression. The study has two objectives: to open a discourse around the transformative function of art for a person suffering depression; and challenge notions of dominant constructed ideals of normality by presenting alternative realities of the performative mind. From the earliest memories of my life, I knew I did not fit in, I was not part of the crowd. Depression has been my companion ever since I can remember. The intention for this self-study is to interrogate the ways in which art can become a self-actualising process in coping with depression. The content for this research deals with narratives of the mind, that is, my understanding of who I am. I have therefore, positioned myself as the pivot for this research, drawing on authentic personal experiential knowledge. This autobiographical phenomenological study is thus a self-reflexive exploration addressing concepts of difference and belonging in relation to social constructs of acceptability. The study looks at contemporary concepts of multiple selves, relationality and the application of therapeutic methodologies within art practice. Art-making becomes games of truth, mind games that offer alternative realities and possibilities for the construction of complex, multi-faceted narratives as dialogues between the self and the inner critic. Of importance is the concept that self is not a fixed conclusive notion but one that continues to unfold, shift and become a multi-layered construct. These new narratives examine how creativity enables or creates a sense of belonging or re-positioning of one’s states of mind. The overall intention of the art-making process is its potential for transformative self-recovery processes – the re-construction of who we are, rather than how we are perceived. This research thus examines the notion of belonging in this world through body/land enactments of ritualised behaviour. The body as metaphor investigates rites of passage as the re-tellings of one’s story within specific body/site/space relationships. The ideal of connection to site is central as a means of renewal and recovery – these performative relationships become the creative meaning-making processes of locating or positionality. In support of these ideas and concepts, the work of Ana Mendieta, Magdalena Abakanowicz and Suzanne Lacy are considered in relation to ideals of positionality and as reflecting each artist’s ethics or paradigms of equality. Artworks are examined against the notion of locating oneself within social contexts. The aim is to question the intention and outcomes of art-making as social function in dealing with issues of marginalisation and stigma. Performativity, personal writings/reflections and memory drawings are the quintessential tools of my art-making. The written psychological renderings and unravellings of my mind, questionings that are both reflexive and critical, are intentionally presented in dialogical, conversational and direct modes. This personal tone aims to allow a scope into my mind – it is my perspective from the inside, my voice, my personal understanding of the potential of art as a metaphorical process of transformation. Lacy asserts that the artist becomes a witness, reporter and analyst for socio-culturally biased concerns; a performance gives public articulation and permission to speak out loud, gives voice to internal dialogues, reveal information that requires questioning and that personal individual experience has profound social implications. Lacy believes that it is an innate human need to reflect on the meaning of one’s life and one’s work (2010:176-177). Central to the findings of this study, are both the transgressive and transformative functions of art. / M