The present study is an existential phenomenological investigation of the experiences of maternal guilt of five first-time mothers with infant children. Maternal guilt is a powerful, pervasive, and complex phenomenon that effects and is experienced by mothers in different ways. This research explores the experiences of these five mothers in feeling guilt related to being a mother and, using an adapted research methodology utilizing Focusing Technique (Gendlin, 1981), their embodied reflections about a particular memory of feeling maternal guilt. This study utilizes procedures explicated by Colaizzi (1978), Giorgi & Giorgi (2003), Todres (2007), von Eckartsberg (1998), Walsh (1995; 2004) and Wertz (1984). All participants provided data via a written account of a particular memory of feeling a sense of guilt related to being a mother, an individual interview which incorporated a modified Focusing component, and written and verbal feedback related to the write-up of the provisional thematic analysis of the interview. The interpreted analyses of the five interviews indicate seven formulated themes; physical and emotional connection to their babies, intense feelings of responsibility, feelings of being divided, multi-dimensionality of guilt with other emotions, pre-verbal miscommunication, anxiety over the unknown in the beginning, and social expectations and comparisons. The findings suggest that the process of embodied reflection regarding a new mother's emotional experiences of guilt can foster important awareness for how she can care for her own and her child's needs. Relationships between contemporary cultural discourses on motherhood and philosophical interpretations of guilt are discussed. Implications for creating networks of support and community for new parents are also explored. / McAnulty College and Graduate School of Liberal Arts; / Clinical Psychology / PhD; / Dissertation;

Sweden has been celebrated in public discourse for being a major proponent of social justice and anti-racist policies, but the country’s ambiguous history with racism has been replaced by colour-evasive discourses permeating contemporary organisations today. Management and organisation studies have focused on the individual identity work of employees, without further attention to the intersecting social positionings of Black Afro-Swedish women. By the works of Black feminism, intersectionality and a phenomenology of embodiment, this study focused on how Afro-Swedish women experience and manage their embodied identities in working life. With a qualitative research methodology and an embodied research design, data was gathered from 17 unstructured interviews with Afro-Swedish women who are professionals, managers, and executives in the public, private, as well as the third sector. The participant group consisted of 2 Deaf women and 15 hearing women. Through an inductive thematic analysis process 3 main themes were generated: Reactions and Responses, Negotiation Practices and Survival Strategies. The findings also point to a sectoral segregation of race and gender, specific for the third sector, as well as diversity exploitation that renders Black women more vulnerable by naturalising unpaid diversity labour. The concluding chapter calls for a more focused analysis about Deaf racialised women’s experiences in working life and Afro-Swedish women across a broader range of professions.

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