The aim of this paper is to examine how heterosexual cis-females is affected by living in an abusive relationship, in terms of how they act and relate to themselves, their environment and their abusers. Based on Sara Ahmed's phenomenology and her theory of how bodies are oriented towards the outside world, depending on previous experience and social discourses, two interviews with two heterosexual cis-women who lived through violent relationships where conducted, and through their narratives I examine how they orient themselves as a result of the abusive relationship. The women reports a (dis)orientation toward themselves and away from the abuser, as well as friends and family as a result of feelings of shame, anxiety and fear induced by the abusive relationship. The women also describe how some feelings of anxiety "sticks" and is ”re-lived” by the abused even when the relationship has ended, exposing the relationship as deeply disorienting.