When I was just 17, and in my first year of college, I found out I was pregnant and I had to navigate my way through adoption and healing after relinquishment. Adoption is a difficult choice. There is no one path that each birth parent follows, and there is no one road to healing that works either. Each birth parent's experience is unique. Adoption and being a birth parent has historically carried a stigma of shame for "giving up' a child. In just the last 40 years, an adoption renaissance has brought new understandings about the process, the opportunities for open relationships with birth parents and their children, and the need for long-term support for birth parents and adoptive parents. The birth parent experience can be one of love, respect, and compassion with the child and adoptive parents. I share my story to help those who face a similar situation; I hope that my story and supporting research can help others consider options and give them hope. In my profession as a high school teacher, I have had several pregnant students who faced difficult choices. I tell my story for all educators because understanding adoption and the birth parent experience can help other professionals practice empathy and understanding for their students facing this situation. Because of my own experience, I think I understand their fears and issues, and am able to give compassionate guidance.

95% of adoption in the United States are open adoptions (Siegel & Smith, 2012). Past research has focused on the satisfaction of the adoptive parents, birth mother and adoptee in open adoption (Colaner & Scharp, 2016). However, there is a gap in research considering communication within the open adoption relationship (Grotevant, 2009). This qualitative phenomenological study sought to understand the experiences of birth mothers and adoptive parents in open adoption relationships as well as determine what is helpful and/or harmful within this relationship. The researchers conducted 20 semi-structured interviews with birth mothers and adoptive parents. Through open coding, key findings included a commonality of strong emotions and a consistent emphasis on the adoptee, as well as the benefit of healthy communication, boundaries and a relationship pre-placement. Based on the findings and limitations of this study recommendations were made for professionals, birth mothers, adoptive parents and future research.

Background: The subjective experience of giving birth to a child varies considerably depending on psychological, medical, situational, relational, and other individual characteristics. In turn, it may have an impact on postpartum maternal mental health and family relationships, such as mother–infant bonding. The objective of the study was to evaluate the relevance of the subjective birth experience (SBE) for mother–infant bonding difficulties (BD) in women with mental disorders. - Methods: This study used data from N = 141 mothers who were treated for postpartum mental disorders in the mother–baby day unit of the Psychosomatic University Clinic in Dresden, Germany. Patients' mental status at admission and discharge was routinely examined using a diagnostic interview (SCID I) and standard psychometric questionnaires (e.g., EPDS, BSI, PBQ). Both, the SBE (assessed by Salmon's Item List, SIL) as well as medical complications (MC) were assessed retrospectively by self-report. The predictive value of SBE, MC, as well as psychopathological symptoms for mother–infant BD were evaluated using logistic regression analyses. - Results: About half of this clinical sample (47.2%) reported a negative SBE; 56.8% of all mothers presented with severe mother–infant BD toward the baby. Mothers with BD showed not only significantly more depressiveness (EPDS: M = 16.6 ± 5.6 vs. 14.4 ± 6.2*), anxiety (STAI: M = 57.2 ± 10.6 vs. 51.4 ± 10.6***), and general psychopathology (BSI-GSI: M = 1.4 ± 0.7 vs. 1.1 ± 0.6**) compared to women without BD, but also a significantly more negative SBE (SIL: M = 79.3 ± 16.2 vs. 61.3 ± 22.9***). Moreover, the SBE was the most powerful predictor for BD in univariate and multiple logistic regression analyses [OR = 0.96*** (95% CI 0.94–0.98) vs. OR = 0.96** (95% CI 0.93–0.98)], even when univariate significant predictors (e.g., current psychopathology and MC during birth) were controlled. - Conclusions: A negative SBE is strongly associated with mother–infant bonding in patients with postpartum mental disorders. It needs to get targeted within postpartum treatment, preferably in settings including both mother and child, to improve distorted mother–infant bonding processes and prevent long-term risks for the newborn. Furthermore, the results highlight the importance of focusing on the specific needs of vulnerable women prior to and during birth (e.g., emotional safety, good communication, and support) as well as individual factors that might be predictive for a negative SBE.