When I was just 17, and in my first year of college, I found out I was pregnant and I had to navigate my way through adoption and healing after relinquishment. Adoption is a difficult choice. There is no one path that each birth parent follows, and there is no one road to healing that works either. Each birth parent's experience is unique. Adoption and being a birth parent has historically carried a stigma of shame for "giving up' a child. In just the last 40 years, an adoption renaissance has brought new understandings about the process, the opportunities for open relationships with birth parents and their children, and the need for long-term support for birth parents and adoptive parents. The birth parent experience can be one of love, respect, and compassion with the child and adoptive parents. I share my story to help those who face a similar situation; I hope that my story and supporting research can help others consider options and give them hope. In my profession as a high school teacher, I have had several pregnant students who faced difficult choices. I tell my story for all educators because understanding adoption and the birth parent experience can help other professionals practice empathy and understanding for their students facing this situation. Because of my own experience, I think I understand their fears and issues, and am able to give compassionate guidance.

95% of adoption in the United States are open adoptions (Siegel & Smith, 2012). Past research has focused on the satisfaction of the adoptive parents, birth mother and adoptee in open adoption (Colaner & Scharp, 2016). However, there is a gap in research considering communication within the open adoption relationship (Grotevant, 2009). This qualitative phenomenological study sought to understand the experiences of birth mothers and adoptive parents in open adoption relationships as well as determine what is helpful and/or harmful within this relationship. The researchers conducted 20 semi-structured interviews with birth mothers and adoptive parents. Through open coding, key findings included a commonality of strong emotions and a consistent emphasis on the adoptee, as well as the benefit of healthy communication, boundaries and a relationship pre-placement. Based on the findings and limitations of this study recommendations were made for professionals, birth mothers, adoptive parents and future research.