In my essay, I write about the work at a pre-school in a segregated suburb. I begin my essay with examples from my workday. In one case, it is about Sara, playing games where other children are excluded and she also exhibits a power game towards me. In the second example, it is about how a group of children conspire and expose both themselves and others for destructive conspiracy patterns. When I write down what happens in the group of children at my pre-school, I see patterns reminiscent of destructive gangs. I reflect about whether I am witnessing that my preschooler is in the preliminary stage of youth gangs with destructive patterns. The purpose of my essay is that for my own sake, and from a social perspective to provides deeper understanding of the causes that can generate power game and conspiracy patterns in children in segregated neighborhoods. I also describe how it can be to work in a kindergarten in a segregated suburb. M y questions are what happen to children when norms in the home are in conflict with the norms of the preschool. The norms in the homes may also be an illegal act in Sweden, when punishment and spanking occurs. Children may be in a conflict of loyalties when they know that parents may not spank their children in Sweden, but still do it. I examine whether there may be negative factors in the family's integration that allows contexts do not meet in a positive direction, and therefore can cause cultural clashes. I start from my own experiences as child-minder in the suburbs during twenty five years. I do this by writing the essay, I reflect on my own thoughts, but also through reflective conversations with others. To obtain scientific perspective on my research, I have chosen as the starting point to the support of other studies in ethnological and sociological aspects. I have come to the conclusion that there may be several reasons for pre-school children of my workplace to act as they do. One reason that I think is important is that families in my pre-school are segregated in the segregation, their meetings consisting mostly of their own countrymen and relatives. The majority of parents have no work and their contact with the Swedish society is done by the authorities and at the pre-school. I have met families where parents have lived in Sweden for twenty years, but still have limited language in Swedish. I have also seen that there is an aversion to the "Swedish" and that there is a conscious choice to refrain from it.

Résumé Le but de cette recherche est de comprendre le conflit de loyauté chez les enfants exposés à la violence conjugale lorsque les parents sont séparés. Le premier objectif vise à décrire le contexte relationnel de l’enfant avec son père et sa mère. Le second objectif cherche à évaluer la présence et à décrire, le cas échéant, la nature du conflit de loyauté et ses conséquences chez l’enfant. Un troisième objectif porte sur l’identification de sous-groupes d’enfants similaires quant à leur discours sur le conflit de loyauté. Enfin, l’objectif final consiste à décrire un possible changement d’intensité du conflit de loyauté dans le temps. La recherche adopte une méthode qualitative pour recueillir le point de vue des enfants sur un possible vécu de conflit de loyauté des enfants entre leur père et leur mère. Douze enfants, ayant reçu des services d’intervention en maison d’hébergement, donnent leur point de vue sur leur expérience de conflit de loyauté. L’opinion de leur mère raconte l’histoire d’exposition à la violence conjugale de l’enfant ainsi que sa relation avec chacun des deux parents. La perception des intervenantes sur un possible conflit de loyauté chez l’enfant ainsi que sur sa relation avec chacun de ses parents vient enrichir cette recherche. Une description du contexte relationnel de l’enfant avec son père et sa mère démontre que la relation des enfants avec leur père ne semble pas toujours facile, alors que celle de l’enfant avec sa mère est plus positive. Les intervenantes jugent que les douze enfants vivent un conflit de loyauté, alors qu’un seul de ces participants verbalise ne pas en vivre. Une première analyse qualitative du discours des enfants a permis de constater qu’aucun des onze enfants n’identifie le père ou la mère comme étant le seul initiateur du conflit de loyauté. Comme résultat des verbalisations des enfants, deux groupes sont formés selon le degré d’élaboration du discours (élaboré ou non élaboré). Les résultats principaux permettent de constater que le degré de conflit de loyauté initié par les mères demeure stable dans le temps alors qu’il s’intensifie lorsqu’initié par certains pères de l’étude. / Abstract The purpose of this research is to explore any conflict-of-loyalty that may be present in children exposed to domestic violence after their parents have separated. Our initial objective was to describe the context of the childrens’ relationships with each of their parents. A second goal was to evaluate its presence and to describe, if it existed at all, the nature of this conflict-of-loyalty and its consequences for the children. A third objective was to identify sub-groups of children who had similarities in their verbalizations about a conflict-of-loyalty. Our final aim was to investigate any change in intensity of the conflict-of-loyalty over a specific period of time. Our research used a qualitative methodology to determine the childrens’ perceptions about a possible conflict-of-loyalty they may have had between their father and their mother. Twelve children who previously had services from women’s shelters expressed themselves about their experiences pertaining to conflict-of-loyalty. The mothers of each of these 12 participants gave us their perspectives regarding the exposure of their children to conjugal violence, as well as about their children’s relationships with each parent. Also, the perceptions of the shelter workers about possible conflicts of loyalty among the children they cared for, as well as about the childrens’ relationships with each of their parents, added to this research. A description of the childrens’ relationships with their mothers and fathers showed that the relationship between children and their fathers did not always seem easy, while the one with their mothers was more positive. The shelter workers assumed that all of the 12 children experienced a conflict-of-loyalty, while only 11 of the participants themselves stated they had. An initial qualitative analysis of the childrens' verbalizations allowed us to say that none of the 11 children identified either their father or their mother as having been the sole initiator of the conflict-of-loyalty. Issuing from the children’s verbalizations, two groups were identified according to the extent they responded (extensively or minimally). The children clearly identify both their parents as initiating the conflict-of- loyalty. However, results show that there are differences among fathers and mothers in the way they trigger such a conflict in their child. Our principal findings allow us to determine that the degree of conflict-of-loyalty that had been initiated by the mothers remained stable over time, although it was greater over time when it had been introduced by some of the fathers.

Résumé Le but de cette recherche est de comprendre le conflit de loyauté chez les enfants exposés à la violence conjugale lorsque les parents sont séparés. Le premier objectif vise à décrire le contexte relationnel de l’enfant avec son père et sa mère. Le second objectif cherche à évaluer la présence et à décrire, le cas échéant, la nature du conflit de loyauté et ses conséquences chez l’enfant. Un troisième objectif porte sur l’identification de sous-groupes d’enfants similaires quant à leur discours sur le conflit de loyauté. Enfin, l’objectif final consiste à décrire un possible changement d’intensité du conflit de loyauté dans le temps. La recherche adopte une méthode qualitative pour recueillir le point de vue des enfants sur un possible vécu de conflit de loyauté des enfants entre leur père et leur mère. Douze enfants, ayant reçu des services d’intervention en maison d’hébergement, donnent leur point de vue sur leur expérience de conflit de loyauté. L’opinion de leur mère raconte l’histoire d’exposition à la violence conjugale de l’enfant ainsi que sa relation avec chacun des deux parents. La perception des intervenantes sur un possible conflit de loyauté chez l’enfant ainsi que sur sa relation avec chacun de ses parents vient enrichir cette recherche. Une description du contexte relationnel de l’enfant avec son père et sa mère démontre que la relation des enfants avec leur père ne semble pas toujours facile, alors que celle de l’enfant avec sa mère est plus positive. Les intervenantes jugent que les douze enfants vivent un conflit de loyauté, alors qu’un seul de ces participants verbalise ne pas en vivre. Une première analyse qualitative du discours des enfants a permis de constater qu’aucun des onze enfants n’identifie le père ou la mère comme étant le seul initiateur du conflit de loyauté. Comme résultat des verbalisations des enfants, deux groupes sont formés selon le degré d’élaboration du discours (élaboré ou non élaboré). Les résultats principaux permettent de constater que le degré de conflit de loyauté initié par les mères demeure stable dans le temps alors qu’il s’intensifie lorsqu’initié par certains pères de l’étude. / Abstract The purpose of this research is to explore any conflict-of-loyalty that may be present in children exposed to domestic violence after their parents have separated. Our initial objective was to describe the context of the childrens’ relationships with each of their parents. A second goal was to evaluate its presence and to describe, if it existed at all, the nature of this conflict-of-loyalty and its consequences for the children. A third objective was to identify sub-groups of children who had similarities in their verbalizations about a conflict-of-loyalty. Our final aim was to investigate any change in intensity of the conflict-of-loyalty over a specific period of time. Our research used a qualitative methodology to determine the childrens’ perceptions about a possible conflict-of-loyalty they may have had between their father and their mother. Twelve children who previously had services from women’s shelters expressed themselves about their experiences pertaining to conflict-of-loyalty. The mothers of each of these 12 participants gave us their perspectives regarding the exposure of their children to conjugal violence, as well as about their children’s relationships with each parent. Also, the perceptions of the shelter workers about possible conflicts of loyalty among the children they cared for, as well as about the childrens’ relationships with each of their parents, added to this research. A description of the childrens’ relationships with their mothers and fathers showed that the relationship between children and their fathers did not always seem easy, while the one with their mothers was more positive. The shelter workers assumed that all of the 12 children experienced a conflict-of-loyalty, while only 11 of the participants themselves stated they had. An initial qualitative analysis of the childrens' verbalizations allowed us to say that none of the 11 children identified either their father or their mother as having been the sole initiator of the conflict-of-loyalty. Issuing from the children’s verbalizations, two groups were identified according to the extent they responded (extensively or minimally). The children clearly identify both their parents as initiating the conflict-of- loyalty. However, results show that there are differences among fathers and mothers in the way they trigger such a conflict in their child. Our principal findings allow us to determine that the degree of conflict-of-loyalty that had been initiated by the mothers remained stable over time, although it was greater over time when it had been introduced by some of the fathers.