The intention of this thesis is to explore whether New Zealand trends in online dating parallel those identified by overseas studies, or whether patterns are emerging that are unique to New Zealand society. The Internet Windows Messenger instant messenger service (MSN) was used to interview 32 subjects about their experiences with online dating, covering areas such as motivation for using online dating; types of relationships sought; barriers to online dating; online rapport and offline chemistry; online infidelity; and managing 'difference'. Drawing on these responses, this thesis presents findings pertaining to a diverse group of New Zealanders' attitudes towards and uses of online dating. Some of the key findings show that online rapport does not guarantee offline chemistry; that there are gender differences in attitudes towards appearance, age, and receiving sexually explicit material online; and that sexual experimentation and infidelity are being facilitated through online dating. The issue of 'difference' as it relates to online dating has been largely neglected by overseas researchers, and for this reason was extensively included in this research. Key findings relating to 'difference' show that there is a clear split between those interviewees whose 'difference' impacted positively on their online dating experience (those with sexual 'difference' falling into this category), and those whose 'difference' impacted negatively (those with physical or mental 'difference'). In addition, those interviewees with a sexual 'difference' have been able to connect with other like-minded people through online dating, contributing to the 'normalization' of previously considered deviant behaviours. Based on the research presented in this thesis, it appears that New Zealand online dating activities are consistent with overseas trends, although there are indications that some behaviour may be more specific to New Zealand society, such as gender differences in relation to bisexuality, and covert same-sex encounters involving men who are either married or who state in their profiles that they are 'straight' or heterosexual.

Previous research has examined the various types of online infidelity, gender differences in online sexual behaviors, and relationship consequences of online affairs. Despite this attention, there remains a research gap regarding ways to prevent online infidelity. When couples seek therapy to address this issue, therapists report a lack of specific preparedness. This qualitative research project focused on methods for assisting couples by studying how they develop an agreement regarding appropriate and inappropriate online behaviors. Grounded theory was used to analyze the data from dyadic interviews with 12 engaged heterosexual couples. The interviews generated five common steps in the process of developing an agreement: (a) discuss the various online activities the couple participates in online; (b) define online infidelity; (c) discuss which activities are appropriate and which are not appropriate; (d) develop rules; and (e) state what occurs when an agreement is violated. Three couples had developed an agreement prior to the study and two couples developed an agreement through the process of the interview. Seven couples reported, however, that an agreement would not be beneficial in their relationship. These couples suggested using alternatives to an online behavior agreement including have mutual respect, eliminate questionable activities, get to know their fiancé or fiancée, and not participate in any online activities that they would not do in front of their partner. Although the study presupposed that couples would embrace the development of a mutual agreement, most couples elected to use other approaches. The results raise useful questions about couple readiness for structured prevention strategies and therapist approaches for clinical intervention. / Ph. D.

Biological factors, attachment styles, socioeconomic status, and religion are among some of the variables researched as casual factors of infidelity. However, limited research is available for infidelity originating online. This study aimed to investigate causal factors for engaging in online infidelity via social networking site use. A cognitive behavioral perspective guided the research. Review of literature on offline infidelity, online behavior, and Davis' work on generalized problematic internet use identified the variables relationship satisfaction, impulsivity, permissive sexual values, and the intensity of social networking site use for exploration. Research questions addressed any contribution these four variables may have to engaging in online infidelity. A cross-sectional online survey including the Relationship Assessment Scale, Barrett Impulsivity Scale, Brief Sexual Attitudes Scale, and Problematic Internet Use Questionnaire targeting individuals 21 years of age and older, who reside in the United States, as well as, the U.S. Virgin Islands was available to the public. 136 respondents completed the survey. The study identified relationship satisfaction, rather than relationship dissatisfaction, as the primary predictor of engaging in online infidelity. Additionally, a stronger presence of permissive sexual values was associated with an increase in relationship satisfaction. Those attempting to engage in online infidelity, a group not previously researched, is predicted by impulsivity. The findings from this study can be used by individuals and professionals alike for improving individualized therapeutic practice. The research findings indicate future research in respect to online infidelity, social networking site use, and the population of individuals that attempt to engage in infidelity would be beneficial.

Människor har genom alla tider alltid varit otrogna, även långt innan sociala medier fanns. Det finns idag en uppsjö av sociala medier och appar som människor kan använda sig av för att interagera med varandra och hitta nya bekantskaper. Sociala medier har tveklöst förändrat människors sexuella beteenden, och gjort det lättare än någonsin att skapa sexuella kontakter. Vi ställde oss då frågan om denna tillgänglighet var något som lockade även när det kommer till otrohet? Syftet med studien var således att undersöka människors erfarenheter av att vara otrogna över sociala medier. Vi ville med hjälp av intervjuer få fram hur synen på otrohet ser ut bland personer som använder sociala medier och har egen erfarenhet av otrohet på nätet, samt på vilket sätt de sociala medierna kunde användas för detta ändamål, och hur detta kan förstås ur ett socialkonstruktivistiskt perspektiv. För att få svar på dessa frågor genomfördes tio kvalitativa intervjuer med personer som varit otrogna med hjälp av sociala medier någon gång under de senaste tio åren. Insamlad data har sedan analyserats med en tematisk analys. Resultatet visar att otrohet som sker över sociala medier är svårdefinierat och gör det svårare med gränsdragningarna för vad som klassas som otrohet och inte. Det visar även på att sociala medier har förändrat våra sexuella script, och att de sociala mediernas lättillgänglighet och känsla av anonymitet är en bidragande faktor till detta. Vår studie visar att det behövs mer forskning inom området för att ytterligare undersöka hur den ökande användningen av sociala medier kan komma att påverka etablerade partnerrelationer, och för att få en bredare samsyn kring vad som kan räknas som otrohetspraktiker online. / People have always been unfaithful, even long before social media existed. Today, there is a plethora of social media and apps that people can use to interact with each other and find new acquaintances. Social media has undoubtedly changed people's sexual behaviors, making it easier than ever to make sexual connections. We then asked ourselves if this availability was something that also attracted when it comes to infidelity? The aim of this study was thus to examine people’s experiences of online infidelity. We wanted to interview people who had been unfaithful with the help of social media and investigate their view on online infidelity. And also to get an idea of how the different types of social media were used for this specific purpose, and how it can be understood using a social constructivist perspective. To get the answer to these questions we held ten qualitative interviews with people who had been unfaithful with the help of social media at some point during the last decade. The collected data has been analyzed with a thematic analysis. The results show that infidelity that takes place over social media is difficult to define and makes it more difficult to draw the boundaries of what is classified as infidelity and not. It also shows that social media has changed our sexual scripts, and that social media's ease of access and sense of anonymity is a contributing factor to this. Our study shows that more research is needed in this area to further investigate how the increasing use of social media may affect established partner relationships, and to get a broader consensus on what can be counted as infidelity practices online.

Bakgrund: Digital otrohet är ett relativt nytt fenomen, som har uppstått via internet parallellt med den tekniska utvecklingen av sociala medier. Forskning på området är dock mycket begränsad i synnerhet i en terapeutisk kontext samtidigt är digital otrohet en problematik och utmaning som familjerådgivare möter i sin yrkesvardag. Syftet: Det övergripande syftet med studien är att skapa fördjupad kunskap om familjerådgivares erfarenheter av att möta par som upplevt digital otrohet. Mer specifikt avses att undersöka hur familjerådgivarna upplever att digital otrohet som fenomen påverkar den professionella arbetsprocessen.Metod: Studien är en kvalitativ intervjustudie med semistrukturerade frågor. Åtta familjerådgivare, fem kvinnor och tre män i åldrarna 45 - 66 år, intervjuades. Fem av intervjuerna skedde ansikte mot ansikte och tre över internet via Teams. Den insamlade data har analyserats genom tematisk analys. Resultat: Familjerådgivare beskriver att par de möter kan vara oense om det förekommit digital otrohet eller inte, till skillnad från fysisk otrohet där paren är överens om att det skett. Två familjerådgivare beskriver att digital otrohet kan gränsa till andra fenomen som svartsjuka och sexuella fantasier. En otydlig definition av vad som är digital otrohet och tvetydighet av hur beteendet/aktiviteten ska bedömas påverkar arbetsprocessen för familjerådgivare. Andra faktorer som påverkar arbetsprocessen är faktorer såsom parens tillgänglighet till internet och tillgång till digital teknik. / Background: Digital infidelity is a relatively new phenomenon that has emerged alongside the technological development of social media. Research in this area is, however, very limited, especially in a therapeutic context, while digital infidelity is a problem and challenge that family counsellors encounter in their professional practice.Aim: The overall aim of the study is to develop a deeper understanding of family counsellors´ experiences in working with couples who have encountered digital infidelity. More specifically, it intends to examine how family counsellors perceive digital infidelity as a phenomenon and how it affects their professional work process.Method: The study is a qualitative interview study with semi-structured questions. Eight family counsellors, five women and three men aged 45 - 66, were interviewed. Five of the interviews were conducted face-to-face, and three over internet via Teams. The collected data were analysed using thematic analysis.Results: Family counsellors describe that couples they meet may disagree on whether digital infidelity has occurred, unlike physical infidelity where the couples agree that it has taken place. Two family counsellors describe that digital infidelity could border on other phenomena such as jealousy and sexual fantasies. An unclear definition of what constitutes digital infidelity and ambiguity in how the behaviour/activity should be assessed impacts the work process for family counsellors. Other factors impacting the work process include the couples´ access to internet and digital technology.