A narrative qualitative research design was used to understand the journeys of three lesbians with Oneness Pentecostal backgrounds who have reconciled their religious beliefs with their sexual orientation. Three participants were selected who met the following criteria: (a) the participant is a lesbian female who (b) grew up in a Oneness Pentecostal church and (c) has reconciled being a lesbian with her religious beliefs, and who is (d) willing to discuss her outing process. These participants were interviewed. The interview questions were submitted to participants prior to the scheduled interviews. The interviews began with an open-ended inquiry. In answer to the research question, the three participants’ stories revealed that reconciliation journeys are unique and complicated. The motivation to embark on a journey of reconciliation of religious beliefs with sexual orientation stemmed from the participants’ same-sex attractions. Further motivators for the participants to explore and reconstruct religious beliefs were feelings of shame and guilt. The participants arrived at a place where they could no longer deny their feelings. As I read the participants’ stories, I analyzed the stories by utilizing the narrative therapy term of “re-authoring.” I found that the three unifying aspects of re-authoring in the participants’ stories were re-authoring religious beliefs, re-authoring definitions of family and re-authoring self. .

Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Technology : Fine Arts, Durban University of Technology, Durban, South Africa, 2014. / The motivation for this research results from the notion that art-making is a regenerative enriching process that can counteract the sense of dislocation that one suffers as a consequence of depression. The study has two objectives: to open a discourse around the transformative function of art for a person suffering depression; and challenge notions of dominant constructed ideals of normality by presenting alternative realities of the performative mind. From the earliest memories of my life, I knew I did not fit in, I was not part of the crowd. Depression has been my companion ever since I can remember. The intention for this self-study is to interrogate the ways in which art can become a self-actualising process in coping with depression. The content for this research deals with narratives of the mind, that is, my understanding of who I am. I have therefore, positioned myself as the pivot for this research, drawing on authentic personal experiential knowledge. This autobiographical phenomenological study is thus a self-reflexive exploration addressing concepts of difference and belonging in relation to social constructs of acceptability. The study looks at contemporary concepts of multiple selves, relationality and the application of therapeutic methodologies within art practice. Art-making becomes games of truth, mind games that offer alternative realities and possibilities for the construction of complex, multi-faceted narratives as dialogues between the self and the inner critic. Of importance is the concept that self is not a fixed conclusive notion but one that continues to unfold, shift and become a multi-layered construct. These new narratives examine how creativity enables or creates a sense of belonging or re-positioning of one’s states of mind. The overall intention of the art-making process is its potential for transformative self-recovery processes – the re-construction of who we are, rather than how we are perceived. This research thus examines the notion of belonging in this world through body/land enactments of ritualised behaviour. The body as metaphor investigates rites of passage as the re-tellings of one’s story within specific body/site/space relationships. The ideal of connection to site is central as a means of renewal and recovery – these performative relationships become the creative meaning-making processes of locating or positionality. In support of these ideas and concepts, the work of Ana Mendieta, Magdalena Abakanowicz and Suzanne Lacy are considered in relation to ideals of positionality and as reflecting each artist’s ethics or paradigms of equality. Artworks are examined against the notion of locating oneself within social contexts. The aim is to question the intention and outcomes of art-making as social function in dealing with issues of marginalisation and stigma. Performativity, personal writings/reflections and memory drawings are the quintessential tools of my art-making. The written psychological renderings and unravellings of my mind, questionings that are both reflexive and critical, are intentionally presented in dialogical, conversational and direct modes. This personal tone aims to allow a scope into my mind – it is my perspective from the inside, my voice, my personal understanding of the potential of art as a metaphorical process of transformation. Lacy asserts that the artist becomes a witness, reporter and analyst for socio-culturally biased concerns; a performance gives public articulation and permission to speak out loud, gives voice to internal dialogues, reveal information that requires questioning and that personal individual experience has profound social implications. Lacy believes that it is an innate human need to reflect on the meaning of one’s life and one’s work (2010:176-177). Central to the findings of this study, are both the transgressive and transformative functions of art. / M

The research is exploring the liminal space of aporía within the experience of film. How can film be a poetic experience and inviting philosophical thinking? Motivated by the works of filmmaker Chantal Akerman, I have come to investigate the gap within the filmic narrative of character creation. With the obligation to create an ethical relationship to my audience, I take a closer look into the aesthetics of mimesis in storytelling. Proposing that there is a shared created gap of nothingness, which works as a portal of reflection between audience and art where the aporía take place, I am influenced by the philosopher Merleau-Ponty´s phenomenological image of the chiasm. The research is accordingly discussing the actor as the embodied surface of this interplace. The liminal space is the journey of the pre-reflective mind working with the unknowable. My thesis tries to show how the image of the thinking actor can hold a space for one shared experience. Departing from a background of actor and writer, the use of writing art throughout the research is a description of different ways of expressing my artistic language; as in writing, filming, directing or acting. The research is situated within the artistic research and the material of focus is art film, ethical philosphical thinking and my own practice with an essay film of 12 minutes, [Her]barium. The locus of the discussion is my own embodied conciousness, as a spectator and in the position of filmmaker.

This research journey investigated the ways in which (1) the lives of adolescents have been influenced by parental divorce and subsequent remarriage, (2) exploring the relationships participants have with biological, nonresidential fathers and (3) to collaboratively present ways of doing family in alternative. Four adolescent girls took part in group conversations where they could were empowered to have their voices heard in a society where they are usually marginalized and silenced. As a result of these conversations a family game, FunFam, was developed that aimed to assist families in expanding communication within the family. Normalizing prescriptive discourses about divorce and remarriage were deconstructed to offer participants the opportunity to re-author their stories about their families. The second part of the research journey explored the problem-saturated stories that these four participants had with their biological, nonresidential fathers. They deconstructed the discourses that influenced this relationship and redefined the relationship to suit their expectations and wishes. / Practical Theology / M.Th.

This research journey investigated the ways in which (1) the lives of adolescents have been influenced by parental divorce and subsequent remarriage, (2) exploring the relationships participants have with biological, nonresidential fathers and (3) to collaboratively present ways of doing family in alternative. Four adolescent girls took part in group conversations where they could were empowered to have their voices heard in a society where they are usually marginalized and silenced. As a result of these conversations a family game, FunFam, was developed that aimed to assist families in expanding communication within the family. Normalizing prescriptive discourses about divorce and remarriage were deconstructed to offer participants the opportunity to re-author their stories about their families. The second part of the research journey explored the problem-saturated stories that these four participants had with their biological, nonresidential fathers. They deconstructed the discourses that influenced this relationship and redefined the relationship to suit their expectations and wishes. / Philosophy, Practical and Systematic Theology / M.Th.