In this autoethnographic inquiry, the author examines the complexities of international practicum placements by exploring past and present-day reflections written in response to her undergraduate practicum experience in South Africa. Using intersectional analysis, the author reflexively writes about personal desire and the intent to offer care in Majority World contexts by describing how these themes are deeply implicated by larger social, political, and historical systems and structures. In an attempt to benefit the nature of international practicum placements within the context of CYC practice, five key topics are outlined to better prepare students who might be considering practice across cultures in Majority World contexts. / Graduate / 0727 / 0700 / 0631 / lljones@uvic.ca

This autoethnography uses narrative inquiry within an anticolonial theoretical framework. As a White Italian male settler living on Turtle Island, I bring survivor experience to psychiatric definitions of “psychosis,” or what I call psychosic narrative, and to broader literatures for the purpose of decolonizing “mental” relations. Using reflexive critiques, including feminist antiracism, I question my own privileges as I consider the possibilities of Mad culture to disturb authorizations of practices like forced electroshock and drugging. Using journals, salient themes of experience are identified, including “delusion,” “psychosis,” “madness,” and “illness,” especially as they appear in texts about politics, culture, and theory. A temporally rigorous narrative approach to my readings allows for a self-reflexive writing on such themes in relation with antiracist anticolonial resistance. Thus a White psychiatric survivor resistance to psychiatry and its social (local) history is related to the problematic of global Western neoliberal heteropatriarchy in psychological institutional texts. Survivor testimonies bring critical madness and disability theories as they pertain to racialization and constructions of sex/uality and gender. Rather than present a comprehensive analysis, this narrative inquiry is generated from the process of research as it was experienced in order to represent and question its epistemological grounds.

Using a feminist, autoethnographic methodology and in depth interviews with twenty-three participants, I sought to better understand the meaning of family memory keeping for women and their families through this research, paying particular attention to the ways that dominant gender ideologies shape family memory and the act of preserving family memory. This research also endeavoured to explore those instances wherein families lose that memory keeper due to memory loss, absence, or death. Interviews revealed that, despite its absence from the literature, women’s family memory keeping is a valuable form of gendered labour – and leisure – that makes significant individual, familial, and social contributions, while simultaneously reproducing dominant gender ideologies and gendered constructions of fatherhood, motherhood, and the family. Through an exploration of the loss of a mother’s memory due to illness, death, or absence, this study also demonstrated the loss of a mother’s memory is both deeply felt, and deeply gendered. However, this study illustrated participants challenging these dominant gender ideologies, as well, and using family memory keeping as a way to resist, critique, and cope. As such, this study speaks to the absence of women’s family memory keeping from the gendered work, leisure studies, social construction, and loss literature, contributing a better understanding of both the activity itself and the gendered ideologies that shape the activity, as well. Not only does this study speak to gaps in existing literature, but findings make fresh theoretical contributions to this literature through three new concepts: the notion of the good mother as the “remembering mother”, the concept of “compliance leisure”, and the re-envisioning of women’s unpaid labour as contributing to “the homing of the home”. And with these contributions to the literature, this research also provides valuable insight for professionals working to improve policy and services surrounding postpartum care, individual and family therapy, caregiving, extended care, and palliative care.

In a series of performative and narrative pieces, readers of this autoethnographic text are invited into the story of a young girl experiencing grief and loss, as expressed through her journals, poetry, and letters, and their corresponding events, written between the ages of 11-18 years. From present day, back through time, and forward again, encircled with clinical practice accounts, an alternative perspective of younger people’s experience of grief and loss is taken up, emphasizing one young girl’s construction of a life after her father’s sudden death.

abstract: Emerging adulthood--a developmental point in the life span (usually between the ages of 18-25) during which children no longer see themselves as adolescents but would not yet consider themselves adults--is marked by identity exploration and discovering new life directions. When emerging adults find themselves serving as caregivers for their parent during a time when they would normally be establishing autonomy and exploring new directions, they may feel conflicted by their desire to both care for their parent and maintain a sense of independence. Thus, using a multiple-method research design that includes both an autoethnography and a qualitative content analysis of young adult caregivers' online posts, this study intends to uncover the dialectical tensions (the interplay of communicative tensions within a relationship) an emerging adult daughter experiences in her relationship with her mother as she serves as her caregiver, experiences her death, and grieves her passing by analyzing the author's personal narrative. To provide a deeper understanding of the dialectical nature of the emerging adult caregiver experience, the study was extended with an examination of other young caregivers' experiences, drawn from online forums, to explore how they encounter tensions within their own relationships with their parents. An analysis of the personal narrative revealed one primary dialectical tension, separation-connection, and three interrelated tensions--predictability-change, openness-closedness, and holding on-letting go--that seemed to influence this primary tension. Results of the qualitative content analysis revealed that other caregivers experienced one primary dialectical tension, sacrifice-reward, and two additional, interrelated tensions: independence-dependence and presence-absence. A comparison of the findings from each methodological approach revealed both similarities and differences in experiences of emerging adult caregivers. / Dissertation/Thesis / M.A. Communication 2010

abstract: ABSTRACT This qualitative study examines how high school art teachers conceive of being a good art teacher. Motivated by my own experiences as an art teacher, I designed this study to add teachers' voices to the conversation surrounding quality in education. My research design included a narrative strand and an arts-based strand. In the narrative strand, I interviewed and observed 12 high school art educators from a major city in the southwest. I conducted an autoethnographic reflection exploring my connection to the research topic and research process. In the arts-based strand I used fiber-arts to further understand my topic. I wrote this dissertation using a narrative approach, blending the traditional research format, voices of participants, and my autoethnographic reflection. I included the results of my arts-based approach in the final chapter. Findings suggest that the teachers in this study conceptualize being a good art teacher as a process of identity construction. Each of the teachers understood what it meant to be a good art teacher in unique ways, connected to their personal experiences and backgrounds. As the teachers engaged in identity work to become the kind of art teacher they wanted to be, they engaged in a process of identity construction that consisted of four steps. I propose a model of identity construction in which the teachers chose teaching practices, evaluated those practices, identified challenges to their identities, and selected strategies to confirm, assert, or defend their desired identities. The findings have implications for teachers to become reflective practitioners; for teacher educators to prepare teachers to engage in reflective practices; and for administrators and policy makers to take into account the cyclical and personal nature of identity construction. This study also has implications for further research including the need to examine the dispositions of art teachers, teachers' evolving conceptions of what it means to be a good art teacher, and the effect labeling teachers' quality has on their identity construction. / Dissertation/Thesis / Ph.D. Curriculum and Instruction 2014

nÃo hà / Este trabalho à resultado de um processo de autoetnografia, realizado a partir da experiÃncia de construÃÃo de uma auto-narrativa fotogrÃfica como forma ensaÃstica e que vai discutir questÃes que vem desse processo relacionados à memÃria como uma questÃo fundamental, oferecendo um convite à reflexÃo sobre a construÃÃo da minha memÃria afetiva como indivÃduo na sociedade e sua representaÃÃo nos Ãlbuns de famÃlia. A pesquisa questiona como os Ãlbuns podem representar os valores de ritos estabelecidos na cultura ocidental e de que maneira a fotografia ocupa um lugar privilegiado na histÃria das sociedades. TambÃm investigo de que maneira a minha subjetividade e a minha heranÃa antropolÃgica e sociocultural definem a formaÃÃo das imagens em minha mente e a construÃÃo da minha memÃria. E esta nÃo à uma questÃo sà minha, mas como o trabalho de todo artista que està dentro de sua obra. Utilizo-me da minha experiÃncia como artista para pensar uma questÃo que me ultrapassa. NÃo à uma questÃo do outro apenas, mas uma questÃo que me ultrapassa em direÃÃo ao outro. Assim, proponho um percurso metodolÃgico autoetnogrÃfico visual em que a realidade estudada à o universo do pesquisador. O projeto constrÃi uma narrativa visual ao final do trabalho tendo como resultado um Ãlbum de famÃlia, mas para isto desenvolvo esta dissertaÃÃo fundamentada em trÃs bases correlacionadas: a imagem, a memÃria e a autoetnografia. A imagem como uma forma de diÃlogo e escrita à o pilar deste trabalho. / This work is the result of an autoethnography process, realized from the experience of building a photographic self-narrative as an essay that will discuss issues which comes from this process related to memory as a key issue, offering an invitation to a reflection on the construction of my affective memory as a man in society and his representation in family albums. This research questions how the albums can represent the values of established rites in western culture and how the photography has a special place in the history of societies. It also investigates how my subjectivity and my anthropological and sociocultural heritage define the formation of images on my mind and the construction of my memory. And this is not only a question of my own, but as the work of every artist that is within his work. I use my experience as an artist to think about an issue beyond me. It is not a matter of just another one, but a matter that goes beyond me towards the other. Thus, we propose a visual autoethnographic methodological route in which the reality is the researcherâs universe. The project constructs a visual narrative at the end of the work resulting in a family album, but for that I develop this dissertation based on three correlated bases: image, memory and autoethnography. The picture as a form of dialogue and writing is the cornerstone of this work.

A autoetnografia foi o viés metodológico escolhido nesta pesquisa para dar suporte ao objetivo da investigação, ou seja, a formação de formador de professores, na qual o papel do pesquisador se funde com sua atuação caracterizada pelo binômio sujeito/objeto de pesquisa. Este aporte metodológico proporciona ao pesquisador uma experiência incômoda, na qual sua intimidade é desvelada, ao passo que suas histórias de vida funcionam como um pano de fundo para caracterizar o objetivo da pesquisa. Neste sentido, busca-se por meio do papel do formador de professores/investigador e seus diversos contextos de atuação por meio de seus questionamentos impulsionados tanto por aportes teóricos quanto sua experiência em sala de aula e de mundo. Esta tese organiza-se da seguinte forma: no primeiro capítulo apresenta-se uma reflexão e discussão teórica acerca do processo metodológico escolhido nesta investigação, a autoetnografia, alinhavada com narrativas, que compõem uma das características desta investigação, prenunciando o lócus de enunciação. O capítulo II constitui-se por um mergulho no processo autoetnográfico focado na formação do formador de professores de língua inglesa, com narrativas que representam a algumas epifanias oriundas da história e experiência de vida do pesquisador no percurso de investigação, assim como pressupostos teóricos pautados pelo pensamento pós-moderno, pós-colonial, construção de sentidos, Novos Letramentos/Multiletramentos e Letramento crítico. No último capítulo são apresentados os desdobramentos deste processo autoetnográfico por meio da apresentação de Exercícios Espitemológicos e Ontológicos na/para a formação do formador de professores, retomando as reflexões dos capítulos anteriores e levantando questionamentos para futuras investigações nesta área.Por fim, nas considerações finais, apresenta-se uma análise geral do trabalho, considerações, ponderações, sentimentos e emoções causado pela necessária finalização desta proposta de investigação. / Autoethnography was chosen as the methodological perspective for this research to support the investigation aims, i.e., the teacher educator and the teacher education program, in which the research role merge with his attitudes as a teacher educator characterized by the binomial subject/object.This methodological contribution provides the researcher with an uncomfortable experience in which his intimacy is revealed, while his life histories function as a background to characterize the purpose of the research. In this sense, it is sought through the role of the teacher educator/ researcher and his various contexts of action through his inquiries driven by both theoretical contributions and his experiences in the classroom and in the world. This work is organized as follows: an introduction which shows work objectives and foreshadowing the researchers locus of enunciation. The first chapter presents a theoretical discussion and debate about the methodological process chosen in this research, the autoethnography, aligned with narratives, which make up one of the characteristics of this investigation. Chapter II consists of a dive into the autoethnographic process focused on the English-language teacher educator, with narratives that represent some epiphanies from the history and life experience of the investigator in the course of research, as well as theoretical presuppositions guided by the Postmodern thinking, postcolonial, meaningmaking, New Literacies / Multilitreacies, and Critical Literacy. In the last chapter the unfolding of this autoethnographic process is presented through the presentation of Espitemological and Ontological Exercises in the education of the teacher educator, resuming the reflections of the previous chapters and raising questions for future investigations in this area. Finally, in the final considerations, it presented a general analysis of the work caused by the necessary completion of this research proposal.

Through this research study my aim was to critically examine the ways in which multimodal, autoethnographic art can enhance and expand educational experiences in general education art classrooms. The study investigates how participants’ perceptions of self and others within culture transform over a semester-long qualitative arts-based study. The study’s goal was to uncover teaching and learning strategies that help to disrupt traditional academic boundaries using autoethnography to create an engaged, cooperative university classroom environment. The participants for this study included 77 students in a general education art and culture course and myself as the co-teacher and researcher. Autoethnographic data were collected throughout the course in the forms of art research journals, pre-and post course questionnaires, researcher field notes, recorded class discussions, on-line discussion boards, notes from one-on-one student/researcher communications and field notes from participants’ final multimodal, autoethnographic art pieces and presentations. The methods used for the study were a modified version of arts-based and grounded theoretical research models. A heavy emphasis was placed on the participants art-making and sharing their work with others in the study. The findings from the study indicated most of, many of participants experienced advancement in their understanding of self within culture and developments of new insights into the experiences and perceptions of others in the study. Results from the study confirm a steady growth in participant engagement and development of cooperative class environment throughout the semester. This study contributes to existing scholarship on the generation of new knowledge from arts-based research models, multimodal autoethnograpy as method, teacher/student relationships in academia, and risk-taking in teacher professional development. The findings from the study might provide support and encouragement for meaningful discussions about the significance of exploring self through art making and art sharing in academic settings. By highlighting the achievements of the use of autoethnography as a method of inquiry, this study will add to the larger discussion of teacher and student identity in art education classrooms.

In this study I attempt to shed light on the experiences of the teacher researcher and university students who explored social justice issues in an art education course. The primary purpose of this study is to provide insights in teaching practice and students' learning processes when the course is designed to examine systems of oppression through class discussions and art-based assignments. The study delves into what challenges and rewards the teacher and students experience in an art class focusing on social injustice. I conducted this study in a semester-long art education course, where I taught as an instructor, with twelve university student participants. The questions that guided by study were: 1) How do I understand my experience of teaching social justice issues through art in an undergraduate art education course and what do I continue to learn from it?; 2) In what ways do undergraduate students navigate and learn about social justice issues through class discussions, writing and art-based assignments? I utilized two methodologies, autoethnography and case study, in order to provide in-depth descriptions of the participants' and my perspectives. The theoretical frame I used was critical race feminism, which highlights the intersectional experiences of females of color. For the autoethnographic study, I collected data from the artifacts I created during the study period including researcher’s journals, visual journals, and audio narratives. I also collected data from the participants, such as pre-course questionnaires, reading responses, reflection notes, personal narratives, peer interview responses, audio narratives, and final art projects. The findings of the study reflect different challenges and rewards that the student participants and I experienced in the university course on social justice art. Themes included student resistance, the teacher's self-doubt, the students' vague understanding of social justice, a difficulty to understand the concept of privilege, and the lack of hands-on activities. The participants also addressed significant learning moments including, learning about colorblindness, personal reflections about their own social identities in relation to systems of oppression, and various art-based assignments they created during the course. Both the participants and I found strong connections between the teacher and students, a sense of learning community, and student empowerment as the rewarding experiences. These findings suggest the need for teachers to reconsider the meaning of a safe space, student resistance, and the role of emotions when they teach social justice issues. Furthermore, the findings suggest that female teachers of color need to positively acknowledge our racial, sexual, cultural, and linguistic identities and envision our roles as border-crossers and agents of change.