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Previous research has examined the various types of online infidelity, gender differences in online sexual behaviors, and relationship consequences of online affairs. Despite this attention, there remains a research gap regarding ways to prevent online infidelity. When couples seek therapy to address this issue, therapists report a lack of specific preparedness. This qualitative research project focused on methods for assisting couples by studying how they develop an agreement regarding appropriate and inappropriate online behaviors. Grounded theory was used to analyze the data from dyadic interviews with 12 engaged heterosexual couples. The interviews generated five common steps in the process of developing an agreement: (a) discuss the various online activities the couple participates in online; (b) define online infidelity; (c) discuss which activities are appropriate and which are not appropriate; (d) develop rules; and (e) state what occurs when an agreement is violated. Three couples had developed an agreement prior to the study and two couples developed an agreement through the process of the interview. Seven couples reported, however, that an agreement would not be beneficial in their relationship. These couples suggested using alternatives to an online behavior agreement including have mutual respect, eliminate questionable activities, get to know their fiancé or fiancée, and not participate in any online activities that they would not do in front of their partner. Although the study presupposed that couples would embrace the development of a mutual agreement, most couples elected to use other approaches. The results raise useful questions about couple readiness for structured prevention strategies and therapist approaches for clinical intervention. / Ph. D.

This research aimed to explore the narratives of romantic jealousy in the context of infidelity for heterosexual and homosexual men from Johannesburg South Africa. This study takes on a qualitative approach using a narrative analysis in combination with a structural and thematic content analysis. The narratives of the heterosexual and homosexual men revealed the role which jealousy plays in every relationship, and how it can affect the emotions and behaviours of both partners. This study found that the narratives of these men were in contradiction to what evolutionary theories as well as past research on the topic have suggested. Evolutionary perspectives propose that heterosexual men are more inclided to sexual infidelity, this was however found to be in contradiction to the beliefs and ideas held by the participants of this study. Heterosexual participants of this study reported that for them emotional infidelity would be more jealousy provoking, as it would be a sure indication that the relationship would end. Past research findings on the other hand have suggested that homosexual males are more inclined to emotional infidelity, as they do not face the risk of cuckholdry. However the same can not be said for the narratives of the homosexual participants of this study. The narrative of all except for one homosexual participant indicated that homosexual men felt that they would be greatly affected by sexual infidelity rather than emotional infidelity. There explanations revolved around the open ended nature and ease of access to sex which is prevalent in the gay community. It is also important to note that simmilarly to the heterosexual group, most of the participnats who experienced sexual jealousy also experienced sexual infidelity. Indicating a link between the type of infidelity you experience to the type of jealousy you feel. This research identified that heterosexual participants felt that in their live stories they found emotional jealousy to be the worst apsect of infidelity while homosexual men felt that sexual jealousy was the worst aspect of infidelity.

Made available in DSpace on 2016-04-28T20:38:51Z (GMT). No. of bitstreams: 1 Maria Irene dos Santos Zerbini.pdf: 2765496 bytes, checksum: 77eab8af672b05dfd95f1a653f19d504 (MD5) Previous issue date: 2014-02-27 / The aim of this qualitative and quantitative research was to better understand what the users of an infidelity-oriented website search for. Infidelity is a recurring theme in couples therapy clinic and with the advent of the internet, new and different modalities of extramarital modalities have become part of marital dynamics. According to the specialized websites, the internet functions as a facilitating element for infidelity since it associates anonymity between contacts and privacy of users. In order to guarantee the anonymity of the users we decided upon using Discourse of the Collective Subject as a method, which allows us to express the manifest content of spontaneous discourse which users add to their profiles and so we have constructed collective thought in the form of discourse. In order to observe the phenomenon, we have adopted the point of view of conjugality, Attachment Theory, Life Cycle model, and Investment Model. Profile data from 270 users of an infidelity-oriented website were analyzed, consisting of 154 women and 116 men, all of which, according to the website´s information, are in committed relationships and reside in the state of São Paulo. All users showed spontaneous discourse registered in their profile, and our approach was to relate the quantitative aspects about what they were looking for in the website with qualitative aspects expressed through spontaneous written content. The users were separated into three age groups: 25-35, 36-45, and 46-60 years old. Results show differences between men and women and also differences between age groups. There were also marked differences on site connection frequency between genders, where men consisted of 13.8% and women 74% of online participants. The full face and body photos posted by women (63%) showed higher results than men (24%), and in the private photo galleries where more intimate photos are posted there is a significant increase in the 46 to 60 years old demographic. What attracts women to the website seems to differ in the different age groups, but all show interest in good personal hygiene and a good sense of humor; men showed variations according to age groups, but in all age groups seem to be attracted to discretion, confidentiality, good personal hygiene and a good sense of humor. Both men and women showed similarities in what they expect from intimacy even though there were choice differences depending on age groups. Qualitative analysis of the Collective Subject Discourse showed expressions which corroborate quantitative analysis data differently in each age group / O objetivo desta pesquisa qualiquantitativa foi compreender o que buscam os usuários de um site de infidelidade. A infidelidade é um tema recorrente na clínica com casais e com o advento da internet, novas modalidades de envolvimentos extraconjugais passaram a fazer parte da dinâmica conjugal. A internet funciona como um elemento facilitador para a infidelidade por associar anonimato aos contatos e privacidade aos envolvidos, segundo proclamam os sites mas não observado neste estudo. Para garantir aos usuários dos sites o anonimato de seus perfis, a confidencialidade de suas frases e a privacidade de sua identidade virtual elegemos o Discurso do Sujeito Coletivo, que permite explicitar o conteúdo manifesto das expressões espontâneas que os participantes registram em seu perfil e assim construímos um pensamento coletivo em forma de discurso. Resolvemos utilizar a lente da conjugalidade, e as abordagens que dialogaram com o tema infidelidade foram a Teoria do Apego, a Intergeracionalidade, o Modelo de Investimento e o Ciclo Vital da Família. Foram analisados os dados do perfil de 270 usuários de site de infidelidade, sendo 154 mulheres e 116 homens, todos comprometidos e residentes no Estado de São Paulo, de acordo com o perfil preenchido no site. Todos possuíam expressões espontâneas registradas no perfil, e nossa proposta foi relacionar os aspectos quantitativos sobre o que buscam nos sites, com os aspectos qualitativos que expressam através da escrita espontânea. Os participantes do site foram analisados em três faixas etárias: 25 a 35 anos; 36 a 45 anos e 46 a 60 anos. Os resultados demonstraram diferenças na presença entre homens e mulheres e entre faixas etárias. Apareceram contrastes na conexão (participantes on-line no momento da pesquisa), entre homens (13,8%) e mulheres (74%) no site. A exposição de fotos de rosto e corpo inteiro nas mulheres (63%) superou os homens (24%), e na galeria de fotos privadas, onde são colocadas fotos íntimas, houve um aumento na faixa etária dos 46 aos 60 anos. O que atrai as mulheres no site distingue-se nas faixas etárias, mas todas desejam boa higiene pessoal e senso de humor; os homens também apresentam diferenças de acordo com as faixas etárias, mas em todas as fases sentem-se atraídos pela discrição e sigilo, boa higiene pessoal e senso de humor. Homens e mulheres apresentam similaridade no que desejam na intimidade. Há algumas diferenças nas escolhas entre as faixas etárias. A análise qualitativa do Discurso do Sujeito Coletivo apresenta expressões que endossam aspectos da análise quantitativa de forma diferente em cada faixa etária

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A large body of research has demonstrated that the experience of romantic jealousy is often associated with a variety of negative outcomes. However, evolutionary psychologists have provided evidence that jealousy is an adaptive emotion that can aid with mate retention. Together these lines of research suggest that jealousy may at times work to protect and enhance one’s relationship, whereas in other cases it could lead to harmful consequences. Considering the varying outcomes of jealousy, it is critical that research explore more specifically how this complex state operates and how it affects individuals’ functioning. In the present research I conducted 2 separate studies in order to examine how jealousy is related to self-control. In Study 1 I used an online survey to examine how individuals’ trait self-control was related to their levels of chronic jealousy. Results showed that trait self-control was negatively associated with cognitive and behavioral jealousy but was not associated with emotional jealousy. Additionally, all 3 components of jealousy explained variance in self-control above and beyond the effects of self-esteem and rejection sensitivity. In Study 2 I used hypothetical scenarios in order to experimentally examine how imagined infidelity would impact individuals’ state self-control. Furthermore, based on research demonstrating sex differences in distress based on different types of infidelity, I examined how imagined sexual and emotional infidelity would differentially impact males’ and females’ state self-control. Using a 3 x 2 between-subjects design, participants from a primarily young adult sample were randomly assigned to 1 of 3 conditions: emotional infidelity, sexual infidelity, and a control. Afterward, state self-control was assessed through a behavioral task. Results showed no differences in state self-control based on condition and no difference between males and females based on type of infidelity. There was a main effect for sex, such that males generally showed higher self-control than females across all 3 conditions. Although the results demonstrate that chronic jealousy and trait self-control are associated constructs, the findings from Study 2 suggest that the experience of jealousy not does impact state self-control. Methodological concerns are addressed and future avenues are presented for researching how jealousy and self-control may be related.

The Elegant Universe: Stories is a story collection featuring female characters unflinching in their self-appraisal, and wry in their humor, who explore the realities of their heterosexual relationships, particularly the weighty decision whether to have children or not in these dark and terrifying times. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, the stories collected here explore the various, subtle modes of threat that are the palpable part of the experience of being a woman—not in society, or in the workplace, but primarily inside relationships with men. At the same time, the stories own that love can grow between men and women despite the near and present poison of misogyny. They own the miracle of motherhood while depicting the palpable fragility of new life and the proximity of mothers to unstoppable wreckage and ruin.

This dissertation compares representations of women in erotic triangles. I contend that despite the stability implied by the triangular shape, the erotic triangle can be made unstable through women’s language. The first chapter examines medieval and contemporary writing on an essential relationship in the triangle: the friendship between the husband and the lover. Amicitia, chaste friendships between men, had its roots in Greek and Latin philosophy, and recently these relationships have been investigated according to mimetic desire (Girard) or homosocial desire (Sedgwick). In both medieval and modern configurations, these relationships are usually predicated upon the exchange of women. Claude Lévi-Strauss, Gayle Rubin and Luce Irigaray provide anthropological and literary explorations of the economic model where men exchange women to strengthen their homosocial bond. In the three texts, women use linguistic techniques to destabilize the erotic triangle. One is irony: frequently, one character does not understand an ironic statement and is excluded from the relationship between the other two participants. A second is pragmatic implicature, which is also used for exclusionary purposes. Other women adopt economic terminology to negotiate with their husbands or lovers for control of their bodies. Through these linguistic devices women speak exclusively to another member of the triangle, thereby undermining male friendships and denying their bodies be used as objects of exchange. Although their strategies are not always successful and some women remain exchangeable objects, we nevertheless see that erotic triangles can be destabilized. Furthermore, counter to the prevailing anthropological theory, certain women are aware of their position as commodities. From this insight, a new perspective on sexuality is exposed. The formerly strong male relationship, built on classical ideals and predicated on equality, breaks down when one man’s virility is pitted against his rival’s. Sometimes even, the supposedly chaste male relationship reveals erotic undertones. Women’s sexuality is also transformed when certain women prove to be desiring subjects, able to manipulate the system of exchange. In the end, institutionalized notions of chaste male friendships and women as objects of exchange are disrupted, sometimes even undermined, by capable women who determine who should have access to their bodies.

This dissertation compares representations of women in erotic triangles. I contend that despite the stability implied by the triangular shape, the erotic triangle can be made unstable through women’s language. The first chapter examines medieval and contemporary writing on an essential relationship in the triangle: the friendship between the husband and the lover. Amicitia, chaste friendships between men, had its roots in Greek and Latin philosophy, and recently these relationships have been investigated according to mimetic desire (Girard) or homosocial desire (Sedgwick). In both medieval and modern configurations, these relationships are usually predicated upon the exchange of women. Claude Lévi-Strauss, Gayle Rubin and Luce Irigaray provide anthropological and literary explorations of the economic model where men exchange women to strengthen their homosocial bond. In the three texts, women use linguistic techniques to destabilize the erotic triangle. One is irony: frequently, one character does not understand an ironic statement and is excluded from the relationship between the other two participants. A second is pragmatic implicature, which is also used for exclusionary purposes. Other women adopt economic terminology to negotiate with their husbands or lovers for control of their bodies. Through these linguistic devices women speak exclusively to another member of the triangle, thereby undermining male friendships and denying their bodies be used as objects of exchange. Although their strategies are not always successful and some women remain exchangeable objects, we nevertheless see that erotic triangles can be destabilized. Furthermore, counter to the prevailing anthropological theory, certain women are aware of their position as commodities. From this insight, a new perspective on sexuality is exposed. The formerly strong male relationship, built on classical ideals and predicated on equality, breaks down when one man’s virility is pitted against his rival’s. Sometimes even, the supposedly chaste male relationship reveals erotic undertones. Women’s sexuality is also transformed when certain women prove to be desiring subjects, able to manipulate the system of exchange. In the end, institutionalized notions of chaste male friendships and women as objects of exchange are disrupted, sometimes even undermined, by capable women who determine who should have access to their bodies.